Monthly Archives: September 2008

Unattractive Women

I’m sure every guy has read or heard the idea that girls who are 5’s or 6’s aren’t easy to hit on because “they get hit on all the time, it’s easier to hit on girls who are 7’s, 8’s, or even 9’s because guys are afraid to approach them”.

I’ve always taken this for granted, but I’m confident now that this reasoning is fundamentally flawed.

Men think that women look at prospective men the same way they look at prospective women. They think girls have a threshold of attractiveness, and every guy above that threshold (in looks, wealth, wit, charisma, etc.) is passable for them. Because, of course, if a man would bang it out with a 6 he wouldn’t hesitate with an 8.

But this isn’t true. Girls like to match themselves with men who equal them. In other words, men whose combined qualities (looks, wealth, with, et al) equal their attractiveness. If the man is overqualified for the position (girls are surprisingly realistic when it comes to what men they can get with their looks), the girl won’t hear him out. In other words, you better step down your game if you plan on slumming it. Hopefully you’ll never be in such a desparate situation.

It’s worth noting that the attractiveness ratings of girls (1-10) are based on your current level of game. In other words, every guy has “tight game girls” (8-10) and “no game girls” (5-6) which vary in objective attractiveness based on his personal attributes. This idea fits in with One Man’s 6 is Another Man’s 8. So when you look at a girl and decide that she’s an 8 or a 9, that’s a girl who probably is on your aforementioned level. Tight game to her will be well received. Tight game to a 5 or 6 will be met with nervous laughter, genuine fear, and an overall air of skepticism that will derail your trolling fantasies. Don’t bother.

Oh, and another thing. Whenever you see girls dancing with their friends (but not in a tight circle) and lip-synching the words to the music, those girls are game for almost any guy to come up to them. I think that’s the only club-game there is.

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Filed under dating, Nightlife

Declaration of Energy Independence

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the currently proposed “Energy Revolution” is a modern day version of the original American Revolution. The similarities are striking. In both cases, Americans willingly sent money overseas to Kings/Tyrants/Dictators until the monetary amounts increased enough to push Americans past their breaking point. This doesn’t speak something about Americans as much as it does about general human nature.

Individuals and groups comprised of individuals (redundancy alert) will take a surprising amount of shit before they are motivated to take action. I’m convinced that the Alpha-ness of the individual (or group) is inversely proportional to the amount of shit they take before they kick their attackers in the balls. Unfortunately, the modern world doesn’t allow us to be the alpha dogs we should be where we go around kicking countries in the balls if they fuck with us. This is because we’re foolishly dependent on countries we should be kicking in the balls like a kid who gets his allowance from a stepfather who won’t pay him unless he calls him ‘dad’. This charade has gone on long enough.

It’s time we start laundering 10’s at McDonalds from that kid to prints them down the street so we can start kicking our stepfather in the balls when he says “don’t call me Bill, call me Dad”. Of course it’s not like we’re the only ones scheming here. You might have missed it because of it’s unforgivable under-coverage, but the Saudi’s left OPEC last week. That certainly helps things, but we have a little ways to go before we can tell Israel “good luck with the Middle East, hope it works out for you”. Honestly, our Beta support of Israel is the most embarrassing thing about America. There’s probably some reason they have us by the balls outside of their ability to strike Arab oil-states with nuclear weapons. Because otherwise, supporting them through thick and thin makes us look like their little bitch.

Ugh, I know a lot of readers who make it to this point will be pissed because they think this is boring. But politics and picking up women are so strikingly similar to each other. The lies, the great first impressions, the ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear… and now that HD is taking hold and we’re getting good-looking politicians involved, it’s getting more exciting than ever. Or maybe it’s just this whole DC-bubble thing.

In any case, I’m going on a backpacking trip for a few weeks to see what kind of a bubble I’m really in. I’ve gotten some verbal/e-mail agreements from some readers to provide some guest posts in my absence, but I welcome all submissions (helpmehero@gmail.com). There are no real guidelines, but I suggest you write something on a topic that people usually disagree on and argue your point of view while you point out the retardedness of people with the opposite view.

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Links of the Day

The 4 part Barack Obama interview on Bill O’Reilly’s show was really great. I suggest anyone check it out:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4  

2 weeks ago, Russian PM Vladimir Putin gave CNN an exclusive 30 minute interview. You probably didn’t hear about it because it wasn’t allowed to air.

Pizzeace!

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MGD 64 – One Step Closer

After Inbev’s brutal buyout of the most American Institution of them all, Budweiser, I decided I would never drink a Budweiser product again. Then those Euro-assholes have the audacity to shove a decidedly confusing product, ‘American Lager’, down our throats during football season. What the hell? It brings us one step closer to Sundays drinking 2 Heineken and watching EPL soccer instead of drinking a pony keg of Busch Light and browning out between the 4pm and 8pm NFL games.

This boycott, combined with the merger of Miller and Coors, left me with only one economical beer company to pick from. When I was out drinking beer made by said beer company, I was notified by some guy who probably was one of those kids to brought a 6 pack of expensive beer to underage keggers (I fucking hated those kids! seriously, who did they think they were? chug your beast lite like a good 17 year old, asshole) that I was “drinking nothing but beer flavored water and alcohol.”

I said, “you know what, asshole? I wish I was drinking beer flavored water and alcohol”. Because really, I don’t drink beer for the taste. I drink it because the pace of drinking it over the course of the night is perfectly matched to the level of drunkenness I want to get to. I would love to get the alcohol without getting the calories, in fact. This brings me to Miller 64, the 64 calorie beer from MillerCoors. Oh yes, perfect, this is exactly what I need! Wait, it’s only 2.8% alcohol? You mean the alcohol itself has calories? This brings us to a crossroads. The calories in alcohol are the real energy crisis!

Shouldn’t somebody we working on calorie-free alcohol? Dammit, this is America, and we like our women skinny and drunk. Oh wait, I guess we already have calorie-free alcohol. I think it’s called ‘drugs’. Splenda Kool-Aid + Roofies = 0 Calorie Fun. But there’s no way I’m taking those again, I need something with the same exact effect of alcohol in Alka-Seltzer form so I can drop it in water instead of carrying beer everywhere I want to drink it. It would be called “Beer Zero” to build on the “Coke Zero” paradigm. This idea would still be successful if it didn’t have 0 calories.

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Man Rules

A few years ago, there was a Miller Lite ad campaign that suggested a diverse group of men could sit around a table and set forth edicts that should be adopted by all heterosexual men. I’m sure you all remember this, as it was the most noteworthy beer advertising campaign since the one where the guy competes in Winter Olympic events from his recliner. However, the making of these rules are fundamentally flawed. Men are certainly driven by rules, but rarely are they the rules of others. Men have their own rules.

Every man who is worth anything has a set of rules for himself that he will never break. These rules define his personal honor, and breaking one of these rules is the exact equivalent of a lie to himself. In the logical mind of Man, a lie to self creates a cloud of disgust that directly leads to a loss of self-respect. What I think is very interesting is how different men have different rules for themselves. Some men have a rule against crying and others have a rule against wagering against a sports team they follow. Some men have a rule against hitting women and other men have a rule against ever lying to their son. The rules of a particular man define that man, and once you figure these out, you understand that man nearly completely. If a man tells you he doesn’t have any of these rules, throw tough questions at him until you offend him and his rules will be revealed.

I have to stop and think about it before I can mentally solidify my rules. One of them seems pretty trivial, but I think it says a lot about myself. When I bring a girl back to my House of Lies for the first time and I dim the lights, I take special care to choose the first song to play in the background. I’ve thought about what this song should be since the moment I felt myself becoming interested in her. Ideally, I can come up with a song that dictates what I think about a girl and what kind of relationship I want from her. Nothing says “don’t even think about cuddling with me” quite like ‘Slim Thug – Diamonds‘. On the other side, nothing breaks sustained periods of sexual tension into a passionate relationship quite like ‘Foo Fighters – Tired of You‘. For a fling, ‘Eminem – Cum On Everybody‘ is tried and true.

To get back to the general Rules for a second, I’d say the most common rule across all men is the one where “you don’t say ‘I love you’ to a girl if you don’t mean it”. I’m not sure why that one is so popular, women say it all the time and don’t mean it. They even have the best way of saying they lied about it: “well, I meant it when I said it but I don’t love you anymore”. Women are great liars, I have so much to learn from them.

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Premenopausal Woman + White House = Disaster

As a Republican turned Democrat for this election, I’ve been reading the Liberal blogosphere lately (ugh). They’ve missed so many good attacks on Sarah Palin; some even question if the VP matters at all. Foolish Democrats. How about the fact that she has 5 kids and doesn’t have the time to be a mother to them? She literally has an infant with Down Syndrome and is moving towards working more hours and getting what amounts to a huge promotion. What kind of self-respecting mother would do that, seriously? She’s putting her country before her children (I think she’s expected to do that). Is that a good thing? Would her daughter have gotten pregnant if she didn’t spend so much time being Governor? (that’s a ridiculous and politically charged question, don’t bother answering it)

Personally, I don’t buy it. If she’s any kind of mother, she won’t be putting her country before her family. She’s an attractive premenopausal woman who puts her family and children before anything else. I suppose the #1 thing on her mind is showing her daughters that women can “do it”. Pretty noble, yes.

What bothers me though is certain issues. My Governor in Virginia, Tim Kaine, says that he doesn’t personally support abortion with his religious beliefs, but he doesn’t think government has a place to ban it. There’s a certain separation that men and postmenopausal women can have from their personal beliefs and the laws that should be enacted by the government. This idea makes sense when you represent a diverse group of people with a wide variety of beliefs, like the citizens of the United States for example.

However, this logic doesn’t play with premenopausal women who are walking targets for the type of fear-mongering that strikes deep into the heart of the female emotional psyche. To them, nothing but their issues matter. I’m pretty sure if it doesn’t directly affect Sarah Palin, it doesn’t matter to Sarah Palin (or any other young mother for that matter). The marriage gap is a very, very related concept that illustrates this point perfectly. The party affiliation gap between married and single women is an astonishing 25-35% (depending on how the data is gathered), with married women on the Republican side of that gap. This is precisely because single women care about helping everyone and married women care about nobody outside of their own family.

“The marriage gap is one of the most important cleavages in electoral politics. The marriage gap is a defining dynamic in today’s politics, eclipsing the gender gap, with marital status a significant predictor of the vote, independent of the effects of age, race, income, education or gender.”Stan Greenberg

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