Even God Wouldn’t Believe in God

god never existed

god never existed

When I was a kid, there were four supernatural beings I believed in that roughly equated to each other: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and God. Very quickly, I figured out the Easter Bunny wasn’t real. Besides, a giant bunny hiding eggs in my house in the middle of the night scared me far more than it excited me. Then I figured out the true identity of the Tooth Fairy when he used an envelope that exactly matched the other watermark-stained envelopes in the paper/pencil drawer. Finally, say it ain’t so, I figured out Santa Claus wasn’t real. Logically, or so I thought, God would be the next entity to be revealed as nothing more than one of my own parents.

To my surprise, this didn’t happen. The people in church weren’t just showing up every Sunday to make a convincing display for the kids. They actually believed in this thing. This fucking thing that not only created everything, but watched over all of these things to… well I’m not exactly sure why. If it created them, then why not make them perfect enough to not need to be watched over? Oh, he apparently made us in his own imperfect image, I guess that’s comforting. I learned that this was also because there was a Devil, an entity almost as powerful as God who was a fallen angel that hated everything God created… but he was only allowed to do bad things to these creations if God let him do them. Apparently God needed to make things more challenging for himself from time to time. Of course, this would be a ridiculous challenge for him to take on, but “everyone knows” that you can’t question the all-powerful, all-knowing being even though he is, by definition, imperfect and quite plausably open to question…

That’s when the truth started to come to me. Quickly.

As I got older, I wondered how anyone could possibly believe in this stuff.

It’s just so blatantly obvious. Whenever common people are presented with things as incredible and literally unbelievable as life, the stars, the Universe, or a dove appearing out of a top hat, they immediately gravitate towards the most likely reasoning: Magic. And God is the unseen and unheard magician of the cosmos. I really believe that if someone had a magic trick that nobody (scientists and all types of cameras included) could figure out, they would be anointed as a human manifestation of God: the next coming of Jesus. Wait, isn’t that what miracles are, essentially? Magic tricks?

I know nowadays (since 1983) the Catholic Church has modified the magic tricks needed to become a Saint. Now, you only need to perform one magic trick (as opposed to three), which comes in the form (almost always) of “curing the incurable”. In other words a doctor (in a 3rd world country with little to no clinical experience) needs to declare a patient terminally ill. Then the patient needs to be cured for a reason said doctor can not explain… Wow!!!

My biggest problem is God’s absolute refusal to even acknowledge his existence. I mean, give me a fucking break. The cult/church (legitimately indistinguishable here) faithful will tell you this is because God is “testing the faith of humanity”. Well then why did he, out of the blue for no apparent reason at all 2000/1300 years ago, decide to manifest himself in Jesus/Mohammad (unless you’re the Jews and believe God only spoke to your people directly)? Because people were losing faith? Shouldn’t that be the time not to throw the humans a bone and suddenly manifest yourself in someone? If you created a Universe, would you control it quietly enough for honest, moral people to (even only privately) question your existence? For what purpose? What is the reason to effectively seduce people into believing in you?

I can understand how women believe in God, I really can. Being the vain, self-centered creatures that they are, why wouldn’t they be attracted to eternity for themselves? And what women can resist the fairy tale of being loved by an Alpha-Male? Especially one who lives outside of the Universe and controls the fate of all who have ever existed. But any man who buys into the fact that he is subservient to an omnipotent, omnipresent being is a weak, manipulable fool who deserves to be at the mercy of the powers in the world who will play on this subservience for their own personal gain.

Oh, and one last thing. A lot of smart-ass atheists out there write ‘god’ instead of ‘God’ under the false assumption that you only capitalize it if you believe in God. Wrong. You capitalize it if you are talking about the monotheistic Christian/Islamic/Jewish God. Since this is often used as a way to slight the theists, I think it’s pretty funny that it’s quite literally self-defeating.



Filed under black swan theory

34 responses to “Even God Wouldn’t Believe in God

  1. rob

    i think the tooth fairy is a chick man.

    and i like the sub-text beneath the image haha.

  2. i remember when you told me you saw rudolph’s nose outside your window. why didn’t you tell me the truth?


    hahaha. with my background (filipino family brought up catholic) i have always fought with people in regards to the whole religion and creation.

    i mean i myself have not done enough research and nor do i care to, but its like having your own ant farm for a year then deciding to spice things up you put one of the spiders (Myrmarachne plataleoides) that eat ants just to see what happens.

    if i were i A god (since i doubt Thy God will want to take control of me[to much of an uphill battle, but wouldnt that make him more amazing?]) i like to be considered the god of “Say it and it happens”… ok i was gonna delete this last paragraph because now i basically described a genie or is is Genie?

  4. IDicky

    I don’t get it. In the last post, basically you call anyone who is a professed atheist an simpleton. Now in this post, you call anyone who believes in God a developmentally stunted peon of some order. Change your mind much?…

    • samantha collins

      i agree. God is real so if you choose to not believe in the blantly obvious truth than that is your desicion. I hope you enjoy hot places because keep this attitude up and thats where you are headed.

      • CavScout

        In response to ‘hot places’:

        For you who have never ventured to verify the legitimacy of Christianity on your own, who place their eternal standing solely in the face value of biased and ignorant religious ‘officials’, or who have never read any sort of religious text outside the Bible (and then likely out-of-context), here is just one fun fact in the flavor of the fallacious evolution commonly quoted as, ‘Christianity’.

        ‘Hell’ is not ever once used in the original Koine Greek-written New Testament; ‘Gehenna’ is the term used. Gehenna was a site to burn refuse (i.e. human waste, debris, dead bodies, etc.) outside of the city of Jerusalem in the Valley of Hinnom, and has nothing to do with a place of eternal suffering.

        The concept of Hell, was, in fact, developed by an atheist! Those familiar with the name Dante Alighieri (commonly referred to as just ‘Dante’ and a noted follower of Aristotle and Plato – both undisputed Atheists) likely recognize his most famous work ‘The Inferno’. This is one of three poems Dante wrote in the 13th century, collectively known as ‘The Divine Comedy’. In these works Dante creates the fictitious realms of ‘Hell’ and ‘Purgatory’ as modern-day churches commonly refer to.

        After writing these completely-fictitious stories, the Catholic church realized that by incorporating these realms of judgement into actual church doctrine, the church could increase its’ revenue many times over.

        “How so?” you may ask. Simple. You, being educated, explain to the uneducated, who cannot read nor write (and thus depend solely on the words from your mouth to receive eternal salvation – via doing exactly what you tell them to do) how they, their family and their friends are in Purgatory or, dare I say it, Hell, due to their sins. Then tell these frantic peasants that to remove said persons from Purgatory/Hell, they must pay tributes to the church, who will on behalf of said frantic, ignorant and uneducated peasant, pray to ‘God’ to remove the person(s) from Purgatory/Hell. This was a very common practice of church bodies throughout the Middle Ages.

        So, you see, anyone putting their blind faith in the modern myth of ‘Hell’ is, really, only putting their faith in the fictitious writings of an atheist. Too bad so few people actually know ANYTHING about what they “know to be true”, isn’t it? Now instead of eating up the lies fed to you by your religious leaders, put some effort into studying these things for yourself. Good luck and have fun.

  5. DC Hero, say goodbye to your inflated ego or keep being frustrated about it for the rest of your pathetic life. When your ego is so much bigger than everybody else’s, life must be very unfulfilling, because you feel like an unhappy and unrecognized giant in little people’s land and you will keep looking down on practically everyone (which is what you do) for being so small and so stupid for not recognizing what you recognize.

    First of all, it doesn’t matter whether God “exists”. Can you tell me what “to exist” is exactly? It’s a useless debate, the more so because God is ultimately personal.

    Consider God a working-hypothesis. You know you’re united with whatever it is that God “is”, only when you are totally at ease with the conviction that the identity and even the consciousness that is ‘you’ will vanish 100% after death. So: no paradise, no hereafter, just eternal nothing. Now, if you can stand for Gods love (or whatever love, for love is love), knowing that you will disapear, so without any PERSONAL longterm reward, if you can stop putting somethingness over nothingness, THAT’s love (God). Thus: God is ultimate surrender of the ego, which, by the way, is not a matter of disposing of our ego (it’s socially impossible to achieve a thing without ego), but of surrendering it: using it for the big picture in stead of just our own gain and to truly know you’re equal to all other beings. That’s the kind of personality many of the ‘saints’ used to have. In fact they had practiced the ‘state of having disppeared’ throughout their lives, not necessarily making whimps out of them. Quite on the contrary.

    Most religious people’s type of faith is driven by fear of personal losses. Especially men’s, since men usually have the biggest difficulties and the fewest earthly reasons to stop their egotism. And they certainly used to have more reasons to powerfully want to impose the – in fact frightning -image of a herafter and all its implications onto others.

    I think that men are much more capable of loving the image of a male God than a female one, since they worship God via their egos and therefore want to identify and be identified with that God. The fact that God is thought of as male stems from general male megalomania. A man, self consumed as he is, could never love or worship a lesser creature such as a woman đŸ™‚ I rest my case.

  6. And oh, here is an unknown quote from a well known Dutch former politician:

    “It’s possibly even more stupid to claim that something does not exist than to claim that something does exist.”

    – Hans van Mierlo –

    And I say

    “If it wouldn’t be so stupid, I would claim that claiming anything is stupid.”

    – Frankie Pebbles –

  7. Ryan

    Frankie, existence is not really a complicated concept. Unicorns don’t exist. A number such that x/0=1 does not exist. Aliens may or may not exist, but there can only be one right answer.

    Just because some guy at the mall dresses up in a Santa suit, doesn’t mean Santa Claus exists. People might say, “Hey, that guy’s Santa Claus” but for the purpose of the discussion, I mean that Santa Claus, the actual dude that flies around on a sleigh, does not exist.

    God is similar. You might imagine God in some way, and you can argue he exists just because you imagined him. But the actual God from the Bible and other religious texts is something different.

  8. Dear Ryan, I have been thinking what could be the motivation to want to proove God’s nonexistence so bad, over just not knowing. I came up with several answers, among which fear, but the general factor is: atheists are atheists because they somehow want to justify their lazy egotism.

    • CavScout

      This coming from a once-upon-a-time “learned” Christian:

      Though this may be true for the general population (I dare to say), there are those – myself included – who delight in scholarly research and the knowledge/understanding that honest, civil and scholarly debate generates.

      To generalize atheists as people who simply, ‘…want to justify their lazy eqotism.’ is nothing short of foolish. Without any hint of egotism, I would claim that I’ve studied the history of the Bible: its context, societal-integration, and the adaptation mankind has worked upon it since its creation, more than yourself.

      To say that the Bible is not nearly as sound as modern religious ‘officials’ claim it to be is an understatement. If you put more time into researching this subject you would understand its severe lack of scholarly support (not necessarily saying you should revoke your beliefs, but broaden your understanding by studying material outside of the Bible and pro-creation literature itself). My own reason in bringing up fallacies, errors and other misconceptions held within the Bible is purely that of someone who would like to teach others of these things that are commonly overlooked or rebuked entirely by religious ‘officials’ who don’t particularly enjoy someone contesting their preaching/lifelong career.

      Not a few of religious persons are in denial of errors/etc. of the Bible.

  9. And what I am forgetting to mention: Ryan, you do not need any legitimation or justification for being egotistic. You can be if you want to. You have free will.

  10. Ryan

    Thanks Frankie, don’t mind if I do. That is especially good news for Mr. Hero.

  11. Ryan

    Also you missed the last post where we were arguing with some athiest named Greg Reich.

  12. Isha

    God is a nice concept though. Its nice to believe that out in the big bad world, theres an omnipotent power that exists, with the will to bestow good things, if you were good. And when life sucks, and no one actually gives a damn, its nice to have an imaginary friend, whose all seeing, all forgiving. Oh well.

  13. dyank

    The only real problem I have with people believing in God is their actions in inquiring this belief. More just think about the millions upon millions of people who have died at the hands of religious wars. Just think about what the world could be if everyone could take their head out of their own asses and question their own beliefs.

    Our world can never truly be at peace until the source of war is negated from consideration; religion is the one of the largest factors in causing virtually every war in the history of human’s documented history.

  14. emach

    Anyone who thinks religion is the cause of war is the one who has his head up his ass. Religion is the excuse for war. The real reason is buried much, much deeper. Most people – including the people waging the wars themselves – are only dimly aware of why they fight.

    War, like love, like every other human activity, is dictated by guttaral, emotional drives that our intellect strives – and often fails – to observe let alone understand, let far alone change.

    I promise you that in the absence of religion from this world, war would still exist – and it would still exist with as much frequency and potency as it does today.

    I pity the fool who takes a historical basis for war (like religion) at face value without thinking it through at all. If you’re going to talk about big issues like this, don’t be so superficial.

  15. Bill

    anyone whose reason for thinking God is a delusion being Richard Dawkins ought to have his/her head examined. Richard Dawkins is a BIOLOGIST. he’s not a theologist or even a astrophysicist. someone claiming he can refute God’s existence based on a life spent in the study of biology is about as absurd as someone saying they can prove time travel is possible based on studying oceanography. it’s only a little more absurd than anyone claiming to be able to prove OR DISPROVE God’s existence.

    any thinking person would have to be agnostic on the issue of God’s existence because, ultimately, neither party knows for sure. here’s what I mean.

    leading atheists have, for the most part, attempted to use arguments based on scientific findings in our NATURAL world–not the least of which is their promiscuous over-extension of Darwinism–for the basis of their claims that God doesn’t exist. the glaring hole in this reasoning is that nature (i.e. the universe) had to have come from somewhere, and since you can’t logically say the universe created itself, the source, or cause, of the universe had to have come from outside the universe, from outside of nature. hence, that cause is what we call SUPERnatural. for those who believe, we call this supernatural cause “God”. yet, those who do not believe in the existence of a God scoff at believers from their imagined intellectual high-horse while simultaneously making arguments against God that are rooted in the natural universe. this ought to be intellectually embarrassing, yet the atheist camp marches right along, trumpeting this nonsense.

    my next point is that atheists hang an awful lot on their argument of “science” while simultaneously knowing full-well that the possible existence of an after-life lies outside the boundaries of science. “science” can be thought of as a collection of laws we use to decode the workings of the natural universe as we observe it. an afterlife is something that is believed to take place outside the bounds of our natural universe. so ultimately, it’s not that the atheist knows there is no afterlife or even that the theist knows that there is; they both DON’T KNOW. it’s just that the atheist chooses to believe that there is no God while the theist believes that there is. neither side has any proof one way or the other. neither position is intellectually superior to take. most theists would admit this, while most atheists would not. for whatever reason, “absence of evidence is evidence of absence” seems to work for the atheist.

    dyank, your post is pathetic. the greatest human atrocities ever committed were committed by atheist regimes (e.g. Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot), not theistic ones. while it is certainly true that there is nothing a man can’t justify doing if he believes God is on his side, there is similarly nothing a man can’t justify doing if he simply believes, to his core, that it needs to be done or is the right thing to do. in that case, no theism is necessary.

    • Jamie

      Bill, you obviously havent read much by Richard Dawkins. He doesnt claim that there definitely is no god. He believes that there almost certainly is no god. Big difference. I dont pretend to know most atheists but I suspect they feel the same way.

      God might exist, but not the god of the bible who created man in his own image. It is a FACT that all life on this planet has evolved over billions of years and the evidence bears this out.

  16. Guess it’s up to every man or woman to be convinced in what he or she believes. The thresholds aren’t the same. God might have to sit on somebody’s bed for them to get it. He wakes me up daily…that’s enough for me.

    But good read…I laughed, in a good way.

  17. Like yourself I came to the same conclusion. At around eight years of age I realized that the idea was implausible to me. Further, I was told you had to believe to achieve god’s forgiveness and to get to heaven. I struggled since this was against my parents and many others, but realized if I couldn’t bring myself to believe anyway, going through the motions was pointless. If engaging in Pascal’s wager wouldn’t bring salvation, then I would try to live with integrity and forge my own way.

    To me, we simply don’t need a god and this is evidence enough against the existence of a god. I agree with you that this is likely a means to try to explain the unknowable, which seems to be a universal human desire.

    I have never been able to bring myself to believe without evidence and since no proof can be offered, and I am a rationalist first, I will take the default position that no evidence means no existence.

    There is no way to reconcile faith with rationality, it seems like so much wishful thinking. I suspect Marx had it right when he called religion the opiate of the masses, something to be manipulated by the powerful to convince the losers of a society to accept their lot and their rulers in the hope of a reward in some uncertain future.

    If I must choose, I choose to live the life I know I have fully and not sacrifice it’s joys for whatever may be hidden behind Door number 2. I am a hedonist you might say, but a principled one with a strong sense of justice and integrity. What more is needed? If there were a vindictive god out there and I am wrong, I suspect it would respect living with integrity through choice more than doing so simply out of fear, just as a parent wants their children to do right not just when watched, but because they genuinely wish to do right.

    Some postulate the existence of what they’ve termed the “god gene” (could be Dawkins as well) and I wonder whether this could be the case since it’s so universal across cultures. Who knows, in any case I believe our model in the US of the freedom to choose for yourself is the best way to address this issue.

  18. Jack Meof

    get a life dumbass

  19. Rome82

    Is agnosticism really a copout, or is it a balanced consideration of all evidence at hand?

    Humans fear the unknown. What death really means, and whether God exists, are unknowns. It seems braver, to me, to face the fact that God’s existence, one way or the other, remains unknown, than to seek comfort by pretending that there is conclusive evidence to the contrary.

    Speaking loudly, or with great conviction, doesn’t make you right or brave. It makes you loud and full of conviction. I consider myself agnostic because I take the process of gathering evidence seriously.

    The only security I seek is that of the truth. To decide that God exists or does not exist, is not a truth to be asserted lightly, without much real consideration.

  20. Jerry

    I wonder if you consider yourself open-minded. Do you make conclusions from knowing both sides of the story equally well? Have you read a good portion of the Bible before you concluded God isn’t real? Then, your claims are more substantiated. A debater knows the other side to be able to debate more powerfully. Have you researched both sides, talked with people with varying beliefs before you stand on a claim that potentially has an eternal consequence? You may be right…but what if you’re wrong? Then you’ve made the greatest mistake of your life. But if you’re right, then no biggie. Risk to benefit ratio? I’d do the research.

    maybe read 10 random stories of how God was real to these people?


    or read this guy’s thoughts

  21. Sameer Khan

    someone just said that there is no benefit of atheism nd that it would be really good if god existed….

    BUT,,, imagine a world without God…

    No 9/11

    No fanatics eager to blow themselves…

    No killing of innocent people…

    And some idiots argue that if there was no religion still humans would fight.. but i would say,, that in that situation they would fight for some real reason nd nt someone’s figment of imagination…

  22. Jason Cassidy

    We are finite beings living in an infinite universe. Wrap your head around that one then say something smart. I can’t wait to read the posts.

  23. Jason Smith

    ok now you have all been talking nonsense and iam actuly sick of it , its actuly imposible to affirm if god realy exists or just some tale on paper -its like aliens they might exist and they might not but we cant see them we cant prove that there right there infront of us how do you know that they arent reading this post right now or watching us go around our bussienss if god realy is up in a 7th sky or 8sky what so ever what makes you think that we will find anything to confirm his existance , for you see god dosnt need us does he hes the all powerfull and all of that so what does he need of a powerless humans? what i think is this is all just a game for god he watches as it playes out he throws hints and clues , he created the devil as the antagonist and the prophits like jesus mohamad as protagnists or backwards-but thats just what i think – but i think that even if god diddnt exist i whouldnt have a problem with it because , the relgion i follow is that of peace , Forgivness and goodness all of its aspects call for happines and love in the world – now for you guys who were saying relgion is the cause for war – did you guys actualy think about it for 2 split seconds i mean what relgion is realy about i never read in the quaran a verse saying – you shall murder all you see for personal reasons- thats just what a copple of “people” or “groups” say to justify raising a war theres no point in trying to disaprove the existance of somthing or approve it, if you belive it has no effect on you then its all the same isnt it , my idea of relgion is i wont regret living by things like honesty and friendship peace and love , all of these qualties anyone can have them thats what having a relgion -moral code- is all about its about making the world a better place but people as usualy abuse it iam not saying relgion is perfect but at least i beilve general Religons -christ-islam-Judi- are all perfect but were missused and changed by humans ,all to suite there purposes now as for the first post i dont understand what the guy is on about the last part he was bieng a Sexist to women why is that do you actualy think god will marry a women dont be a fool my friend – because if iam the perfect bieng why the hell whould i bind myself with one imperfect bieng now whould i ?- and actualy in some relgion’s women suffer the most because of some ruels like sacrficing young beutiful women or burial of babies and all of that bullshit and i hope if you guys actuly try to make a Reply think about it for 2 seconds pleas o.o.

  24. Jason Smith

    oh and by the way the universe aint infinate itll keep expanding like a ballon untill it blows – sorry to dissapointe you XD-

  25. Tony

    Your all gonna be judge someday I’m sorry your all the lost. As much as you don’t think there is a God guess what there is. God made everything work perfect ok. That didn’t just happen out of no where. Everything works perfect and runs flawlessly in nature, but one thing I think God could of improved was a slight larger brain for people like you. That way they couldn’t just blab on and say things because they think there better then everyone they see. Just like the lost uneducated soul who wrote this book. Yes there is a God and after all the junk you say about him he does still love you. Its funny how he wouldn’t even know how to read or write a book without the bible being created. Look that up, first book ever made. Remember most of the world knows of God and they believe he will come again. If he came tomorrow you wouldn’t be ready and your really no going to enjoy hell. So people tell me where we came from with such perfection and life going on and on and nature the one showing us how live. We don’t teach nature how to live cause its already perfect. Learn live and love God and your life won’t feel lost and something missing. God bless all.

  26. Neil

    Amen to that, Tony!!

  27. samantha collins

    Well all i have to say is if you dont believe i guess God can never truly work in your life so, you in a personal level will never really know him. So therefore he isnt real to you. But that doesnt mean you have to try and crush someone else’s faith. I understand that you do not believe but be a peacful unbeliever and keep it to your self. I have believed in God all of my life and i cant imagine living with out him. He gives people purpose. Life is a struggle no matter who you are so i guess it depends on your attitude twoards it. And yours my friend is quite shitty.

  28. daniel

    Well if I believe in god with my whole heart and I die and there is a heaven and a paradise awaiting me then ill be happy for my faith. But if I die and there is no god or paradise then I would have died just the same! So im not taking any chances I will still keep praying and loving god and living my good life. I hope that you are wrong and when we all come before god to answer for our lives that he does forgive you for your stupidity. But if im wrong and there is no god I hope you lived your life to fullest douse its the only one we had!

  29. Rowdy

    I agree with Daniel ^^ And to add… Let us disregard many of the questions that even Christians have about the way God works because, obviously, we Are Not God, so therefore do not know Everything. But one thing I do know is that God manifested as man, here on earth, as Emanuel: God With Us. He lived a perfect life… Served a Perfect God… And proved his Divinity through Miracles, not magic tricks, which can not be performed by ANY doctors, of a third world origin or not, that transformed the lives of many. He came to this earth, Foretold several years prior, and died on a tree… After His death he was buried.. but the grave could not hold Him. He rose and appeared to many for the next forty days! In one day in particular, he appeared to several people simultaneously, who could all give testimony to that fact. I believe in the truth that no other man on this earth lived, performed many miracles, died and rose from the grave, except for Jesus, the son of God. Mohammed, Gandhi, Moses, Caesar, George Washington… They all died… and stayed dead. Jesus is the only one who brought life back again after a death… Without medical “miracles”. These are truths that are undeniable… I love Him and He loves All of us in return. It’s time to wake up brother.

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