If you live in the U.S., you may have noticed one of the bigger fads going around lately that I directly attribute to the “we deserved 9/11” nonsense being propagated by the feminine men in this country. It’s something like “Save the environment! Go green! Healthy! Endangered Animals! Hybrids!”. What a bunch of bullshit. I could go off on any number of these hippie topics, but I don’t have the time. Instead, let’s explore one that pisses me off the most: Conserving oil.
I mean, why should we conserve oil? Last I checked, oil is an nonrenewable natural resource, which means it will run out at some point. This will most likely happen between 2036 and 2050. We can’t change this. This leaves us with only one relevant question:
- Do we want the oil to run out as quickly as possible, or as slowly as possible?
If mathematics has taught me anything, it’s taught me that looking at the extreme cases will provide you with an incredible amount of insight about a problem. This problem is no different. Let’s look at the two scenarios:
Oil runs out as slowly as possible
Let’s say American conservation efforts are successful at prolonging the lifespan of oil. Which countries does this help the most? Undoubtedly it’s developing countries that need this oil to modernize their countries and make their economies globally competitive. China is doing everything they can, including making deals with literally any corrupt/murderous oil rich country, in a desperate search for oil to fuel this desire. Remember, for every drop of oil you don’t use, China will use. This is so obvious to me that it needs to be repeated. But I never repeat myself, I’ll just underline it. Sweet ass.
If oil lasts longer, cost pressures on oil sold in the global market will be minimized. This will allow the Chinese to grow into a world superpower, maybe THE world superpower, in the most uninhibited way possible. As everyone who doesn’t already know will see during the Olympic Games this summer, this isn’t a good thing.
Oil runs out as quickly as possible
Pussies in this country might have you believe that using an excess amount of gasoline or home heating fuel is bad for your country. After all, this will bring up prices (unless they’re fixed somehow) and will reduce the total amount of oil left on the planet, which can only be bad. Didn’t you get the memo? We have to conserve everything natural!!!
But they are wrong. If we use as much oil as possible, we reduce the global oil supply. Would this cause a global recession? Maybe. But isn’t that almost inevitable? And the U.S. would be much better equipped to handle oil running out before it was projected to than other countries would be. Well, at least better equipped than China would be. They’d be fucked. Remember, somebody is going to use the oil and it might as well be us.
I think it would be in our best interest if oil ran out when we were at our strongest. Keeping oil around allows developing nations to get stronger, so we would like the oil to run out as quickly as possible. And don’t even hit me with that “it’s better for the world as a whole” nonsense either.
And what would we do when there was no oil left, you say? Necessity is the mother of invention. And under those circumstances, if you don’t think a Manhattan Project for the energy crisis could be completed by the world’s greatest minds, you’re kidding yourself.
Side note, if you want to know why the U.S. is more dependent on foreign oil than ever, look at the following graph. Domestic oil production peaked in 1970 and has been falling ever since:
Hm, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I gave China a little too much credit. Maybe they’re just another fatally flawed superpower-wannabe. On the other hand, I’d rather not risk China taking over. Especially since Thai, Korean, and Vietnamese girls are hotter than Chinese girls. In any case, conserving oil is at best delaying the inevitable. Let’s just use it all and get to the point already.