Segue

Wow, it’s been a whirlwind. I’ll say this though: don’t pass up any chances you have of visiting the former Yugoslavia because you will most certainly not be disappointed. I didn’t get a chance to post this earlier, but loyal reader Monica sent this in whilst I was away. I have my comment on it in the comment section, where comments belong.

Title: Segways…

Today while walking to the neighborhood market, a middle-aged couple whizzed past my roommate and me on two segways. They were stone-faced, expression-less, as if it was completely normal to see your neighbors riding segways on sidewalks for leisure and we were really surprised. I had heard stories of sales of vespas and motorbikes rising, but I hadn’t seen that segway sales and inquiries have risen too, at rates of 40-50% over the past few years.  

In fact, segways are no longer just for policemen and city workers, but now Jane, Dick and Harry are buying them too. They are also being used by tourists everywhere from Chicago to Zambia, as the tourism community harnesses them for their benefit.  At a cost of $5,000, it is steep for most people, but as gas prices are rising, more and more grow interested. At a cost of approximately 1 cent per mile, it’s cost efficiency is alluring.  They are also convenient to recharge in your home after ever 25 miles. http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/energy/2008-06-16-segway_N.htm

Some people say they buy segways to use them instead of their cars, but segways are not completely substitutable for cars for several reasons: a) you have no covering, so riding a segway in bad weather is not advisable, b) there is no storage space on a segway, c) you can only go 12.5 miles, d) they are only made for one person, and e) where the hell do you park a segway securely??? For these reasons, it would not make sense for most people to get rid of all of their cars to buy segways, and thus, segways are best rented by tourists to see cities or bought by affluent singles or couples who can afford to have both segways and at least one car, or for affluent singles or couples living in an urban area where people don’t need cars.

Some people may think segways are great for America to transition to as popularity rises > leading to supply rises > leading to falling prices. This is based on the idea that America will become less dependent on foreign oil. But are segways really good for America? 

The likelihood that men and women in America exercise on any given day, accoring to the US Bureau of Labor and Statistics, is 21 and 16 percent respectively — pretty low rates. http://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.nr0.htm

If segways are not perfect substitutes for cars, they are more perfect substitutes for walking and biking, two ways in which average Americans who don’t enjoy exercising or who have trouble making time for it are able to expend calories. As my roommate says, “if you can segway, you should be walking or biking anyway,”  based on the argument that segways are only really useful for touring,  novelty purposes, or for traveling relatively short distances, since their speed is only 2-3 times faster than walking and they require use of paths or sidewalks instead of roads. 

People are even riding them through nature trails. On one hand, it is lessening our dependence on foreign oil, but on the other, it is also making a sedative lifestyle easier for some, as they creep into suburbia and start replacing walking and biking. 

Is America doomed to become a nation of overweight segway riders or is this a passing trend like slap-bracelets and razor scooters?

http://www.negotiationlawblog.com/segway.jpg

The Fat Mentality

In the comment section for Fat Girls I started to explain the ‘Fat Mentality’. It’s an attitude of failure most often seen in fat people, but also seen in others. Together, let’s call these people Fat Mentality Individuals (FMIs). The Mentality is most obvious to me when I see somebody who used to be fat but hasn’t adjusted to being normal sized yet: a true FMI specimen.

That picture above is of Star Jones, the poster-woman for this idea who was fired from the View after losing 160 pounds to be replaced by a new FMI: Rosie O’Donnell. Everybody on the View loved Fat Star Jones, but when she kept the Fat Mentality after power shredding blubber, things changed, and suddenly Star wasn’t the non-threatening fattie American soccer-moms knew and loved. She was just a loudmouth who didn’t know how to handle the different type of attention: the envy of other women. FMIs have no experience of envy directed at them, it always travels in the other direction.

Let’s make a list of Fat Mentality traits, feel free to play along at home, I’m sure we all know some good ones:

1. They draw attention to themselves in a childish way
2. If they get the aforementioned attention, they don’t have the composure to handle the spotlight
3. The spiral is simple: instant gratification, excuse, failure. Cheating on a diet to eat a pint of Chunky Monkey is a microcosm of the larger and more pervasive Fat Mentality.
4. Inability to deal with complex emotions, largely because they haven’t had much experience with them. Let’s be honest here, Fat People haven’t felt the same dizzying highs and lows of love as the rest of society. Skinny FMIs also find themselves in this situation.
5. Nonsensical deep sentimental attachments to movie characters, television shows, and animals. FMIs tend to place these things above their relationships with those around them. I would like to believe this one isn’t true.
6. No patience, especially for self-improvement. I hate people like that. When it comes down to it, FMIs are mounds of unpleasant crybaby. I could keep this list going for hours, literally.

I have my own theory about how FMIs end up with this Fat Mentality: inability to deal with failure. The only way I can see for fatties to avoid the Fat Mentality is to have the type of self-confidence that revolves around self-criticism with no fear of failure. The only way to do this is through colossal failure followed by redemption. I think both fat and skinny FMIs had formative years littered with small failures, but never had those big, life-changing failures. I can say I’ve never met an FMI who could take failure in stride, a trait observed in those who have successfully dealt with failure in the past.

…

P.S.: if you weren’t aware, there’s a fatosphere of bloggers out there who are fat-screaming (you know what I mean) how they have every right to be fat while questioning the health effects of being fat. They have holidays like No Lose Weight Day and National Donut Day. I didn’t have to go far to find the CDC’s opinion on that one. Answer me this, fatosphere: why are you wasting your time and lives fighting for a losing cause? Do you realize that you will always be hated by people who diet and exercise to stay thin? Those who diet and exercise believe that being fat is reversible and losing weight is a positive step in life for many reasons. Your polar opposite view is, well, polarizing and standoffish.

Fat people aren’t the only ones who diet, hate to break it to you. Is the aforementioned group wrong for dieting? Are you morally opposed to them? Do you even realize that the competing ideologies are natural enemies and they significantly outnumber you?

If you really believe that you’re genetically disposed to be fat, you have to find a way to be genetically tested and labeled as such. This is the ONLY way the slim, dieting population will ever accept you and not discriminate against you (which, I believe, is your goal). The slim, non-dieters don’t care about you either way. And tell me fatties, how long does it take to get off when you can get 1/2″ of penetration?