Vintage is Dead

I was out last weekend in an upscale bar looking chest-level at everyone to maximize my intake of boobs and Vintage T-Shirts (the 2 greatest things on the planet outside of a hot woman on a cold day, which beats the hell out of a cold beer on a hot day) when I realized that the Vintage T’s outnumbered the Save-A-Ho Army standard-issue striped button down. After such a life altering realization, I had to back up a little bit and set my cup down.

After thinking about it for a little bit, I realized that the Vintage Era is dead, or is at least slowly dying. The Hipster revolution has gone too far, and now even Georgetown prepsters are embracing the faded 80s lookalike look like they’re competing in the Hipster Olympics. But the end of this amazing trend could have been seen by anyone because all trends have to end sometime. The real question is: what’s next?

I can best describe it as the “spiffy” look. Think of what it would look like if hipsters had an event where they had to wear collared shirts. Maybe that’s a bad analogy. Just look at the damn picture:

Of course I don’t know anything about fashion, but I’m pretty sure about this one. And for the record, I’m not a huge fan of the shirt in the picture, but it does illustrate what I’m talking about pretty well. Look how those zigzag lines say “I’ll play by your rules, but I’ll modify them slightly to achieve a satisfactory level of independence”. That’s the real hipster motto.

Girls’ Clothes

Since fashionable girls’ clothes are so expensive and sought after, I wonder how big of an effect they have on her appearance (from a guy’s perspective since that’s the only time it really matters anyway)?

There are a few interesting things at work here:

1. Men are said to have little to no fashion sense
2. Men frequently say that they don’t like the anorexic “model look”
3. Men frequently say that they thing fashion and designer clothes are foolish and odd looking
4. Girls often say they aren’t dressing up for guys, but “for themselves”. I think this is because they’re too insecure to deal with the failure if guys don’t like it. Stay tuned for the inevitable “Timeless Flirting Tactic – Exploiting Insecurity” post.
5. Physical beauty is generally accepted as more or less unchangeable

Going with the above logic, you could say that a girl’s fashion has no effect on how hot she is. I can’t accept this because I’ve seen so much evidence to the contrary. I think the problem with the above logic is that it focuses on the clothes. The haircut, jewelery, skin appearance, raw sexuality, and use of makeup are probably more important than the clothes, but guys don’t associate that with fashion. At least I don’t. I think I just contradicted myself.

I see fashion as shoes and clothes instead of other things. But then where is the line? Can the way a girl talks be fashionable? What about her walk? Her sexual appetite? What can’t be fashionable?

Now I’m just confused. I mean, what if Asian girls go in and out of fashion? Are they part of a guy’s fashion? Like the girl on my arm is a fashion accessory that I always want to keep in style? I don’t see why not. In fact, a girl is a guy’s most ubiquitous fashion accessory. You can ignore the guys who have their car as their #1 fashion accessory because they’re far enough away from reality to be considered inhuman.