The Anniversary

 

some emo anniversary shit

some emo anniversary shit

 

 

Anniversaries don’t exist unless you’re a total bitch and completely crumble during a DTR. For real though, when one of your buddies’ girlfriend is outwardly celebrating the 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, 1 year anniversary, call his bitch ass out on it. Be merciless, it’s for his own good. The first sign you’re in a bad relationship is the 1 month anniversary celebration. It shows you’re completely at her mercy, don’t let it happen to you.

Besides, if you’re playing it right she should be hesitant to celebrate an anniversary outwardly because it will just shove a reminder into your face of how long you’ve been together. Presumably this will make her afraid that this will cause you to break up with her. Ideally, the anniversary goes relatively unnoticed with the only sign of it being a subtle hinting at it on the girl’s part.

Remember, she doesn’t like you, she likes “us” (her and you), so an anniversary is a big deal. And, obviously, holidays aren’t anything but anniversaries shared between couples. So on both counts, it’s best to brush them off professionally like the shit tests they are. And if you can’t pass those shit tests, it’s time to take it back to the mattresses.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “The Anniversary

  1. Ryan

    I don’t really have a problem with the 1-year anniversary, which is really just the definition of the word anniversary.

    But this concept of celebrating semi-annual anniversaries has to go. I was born on June 9th, and I don’t go around partying on the 9th of every month. Since being born was the most important thing to happen to me, it follows that I should not recognize any other event multiple times a year.

  2. schizogeny

    It’s irritating when chicks do that to their guys. There’s no POINT in celebrating the month “anniversaries” as that is not what an anniversary is. Before I got married, my husband and I rarely celebrated our anniversary, we merely went out and had a nice meal together to show one another that it’s great to be together. These days, we have a wedding anniversary and fuck, I’ll probably forget that… and I’m the chick. Anyhoo, great rant! Totally in agreement.

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