Vintage is Dead

I was out last weekend in an upscale bar looking chest-level at everyone to maximize my intake of boobs and Vintage T-Shirts (the 2 greatest things on the planet outside of a hot woman on a cold day, which beats the hell out of a cold beer on a hot day) when I realized that the Vintage T’s outnumbered the Save-A-Ho Army standard-issue striped button down. After such a life altering realization, I had to back up a little bit and set my cup down.

After thinking about it for a little bit, I realized that the Vintage Era is dead, or is at least slowly dying. The Hipster revolution has gone too far, and now even Georgetown prepsters are embracing the faded 80s lookalike look like they’re competing in the Hipster Olympics. But the end of this amazing trend could have been seen by anyone because all trends have to end sometime. The real question is: what’s next?

I can best describe it as the “spiffy” look. Think of what it would look like if hipsters had an event where they had to wear collared shirts. Maybe that’s a bad analogy. Just look at the damn picture:

Of course I don’t know anything about fashion, but I’m pretty sure about this one. And for the record, I’m not a huge fan of the shirt in the picture, but it does illustrate what I’m talking about pretty well. Look how those zigzag lines say “I’ll play by your rules, but I’ll modify them slightly to achieve a satisfactory level of independence”. That’s the real hipster motto.

Wearing Everyday Clothes to the Gym

I mean, seriously, this is unacceptable behavior and I see it all the time. It’s always that guy who

1. Doesn’t work out that much
2. Makes it seem like he’s not working out that hard, even though he’s sucking wind

Take a hint, you don’t look cool wearing a polo shirt and shorts to workout in. The more I think about it, the less I get it. Do these guys even have t-shirts and mesh shorts? Does anyone not have a t-shirt and mesh shorts? I mean, what the fuck? Picture this going through your head before you put in a 15 minute workout (P.S. I am king of the 15 minute workout):

“You know what, these clothes are already dirty, I think I’ll just workout in them and then I won’t dirty 2 pairs of clothes in one day.”

Is it even that? Do they change into the shorts and polo? I seriously don’t get it. How does this happen? A commenter who can shed light on this subject wins 1 Commenter Point. As a matter of a fact, I’m starting a contest. Commenter Points (CPs) will be awarded for various things on DC Hero. The first person to amass 5 CPs will win something, I’m not sure what yet, but it will be something good.

Song of the Day: Third Eye Blind – Narcolepsy

It’s been 11 years since this CD came out and I still love it. I guess that doesn’t quite make it timeless or classic yet, but I’ll leave that debate to the real hipsters. All I know is 3eb’s debut album fucking rocks shit hard.

It gets a lot of drama for being too poppish/overplayed, but the content deals with issues faced by an older set than is typical for your average radio band. It was released by a band of guys in their late 20’s and early 30’s. They created 14 tracks of pure, uninhibited awesomeness.

To make this clear, I think this is the greatest rock album ever made because it embodies the rock genre to me. The greatest rap album ever made is obviously 2pac’s ‘Makaveli: The 7 Day Theory’, but that’s a different story.