I voted “absentee-in-person” today, and realized that “absentee-in-person” was just a clever way to open polls for 2 weeks instead of 1 day (You can vote in Arlington County if you plan on being outside of the county on 11/4 for undisclosed personal business). Because, honestly, how does it make sense to have everybody vote on the same day? Fucking none, that’s how much.
In any case, as I was voting “No” on a measure to spend $50M on a water treatment plant, it hit me: if Michelle Obama was white, it would have completely changed this election. I was completely sure about this, but it was unclear to me exactly what would have changed. I came up with the following talking points:
- Black Women Would Hate Barack: He’d be just another rich/powerful Black man who married a White woman, which could have drawn enough ire from Black women to propel Hillary to the nomination. The only reason I’m unsure is I don’t know if single and married Black women would both vote against him. Totally unsure if either group would be cool with the White chick.
- What Kind of White Girl, Exactly?: If we’re talking Carla Bruni here (the obvious comparison), Obama would get absolutely slammed. It would be the double standard of all double standards, but there’s no way working class White people would vote for a Black man married to a White model, especially not one they already see as a tad ‘elitist’ (educated). If we’re talking Lucy Page, then I think it definitely works in his favor. Put it this way, people would listen to a Lucy-Page-type-wife when she talked about how they can trust Barack.
- It Would Completely De-Blackify Barack: I almost don’t want to write this because I voted for him, but this isn’t that big of a blog, so whatever. I’ve always thought it’s kind of strange how Barack was abandoned by his Black father and raised by his White mother/grandparents, but he married a Black woman. It goes against the whole “mom-impression” thing, it just doesn’t happen very often (see Tiger Woods for a good example). And I mean, he grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, which aren’t exactly Black-culture hotspots. I really need more information on his exes (I can’t find any info), but I assume he dated Black chicks all the way and was banging nothing but Marvin Gaye when it was time to get business done. The Black wife makes him a Black man more than a halfie. Not sure what effect this has.
- White Women Would LOVE Him: Ah, the hidden truth. Who am I kidding, Hillary wouldn’t have stood a chance. So we’ve all heard the “men love Sarah Palin because they’re attracted” thing, but why haven’t we heard the same about women for Obama? Is it just underreported, or is it just not as strong as it would be if Michelle was White? I’m just saying.
- In The End, It Wouldn’t Matter: The economy is all that matters in the end, and he would have cruised to victory either way.
Ed note: I have nothing against Michelle Obama. The question I should have asked was if a White woman would have been strong enough to be his rock during this 2 year campaign….