No Asians 2008

hot asian girl

So my uh friend, Will, has made a New Year’s resolution like any self-respecting gentleman would. He’s proclaimed that, in sharp dissonance with his past, there will be no Asian love in 2008. He doesn’t have any good reasons to do this, he just wanted to see if he could do it. To prove it to himself.

Wikipedia, in it’s infinite wisdom, defines an Asian fetish as the sexual objectification of Asians who are “objectified and valued not for who they are as people, but for their race or perceptions of their culture.” Besides a high probability of having been written by a virgin, that definition completely disregards their physical hotness and numerical mastery. Sorry Wikipedia, you are wrong. I will tell my friend Will to correct it when he gets a chance. There’s nothing wrong with liking a racial group as long as you like other racial groups. If it gets to the point where you’re ignoring hot girls because they’re not in your so called ‘fetish’ group, you officially have a problem. Or you’re gay. Yeah, probably the latter.

Will agrees that many sides of this Asian issue has been covered before. We’ve decided that only two things are really left to be said:

  1. Asian Persuasion is the most powerful spell that can be cast on a man. If any part of history should be changed, the Sirens in Greek mythology should be Asian.
  2. Girls who are White on the outside but Asian on the inside are called ‘Eggs’. This is just a result of women from all cultures taking note of the power of the Asian Persuasion and using it for their own good, defying their genetic makeup. I think guys copy Blacks and Latinos for similar gains, but I really don’t know. We’ll have to investigate that one further.

Will Will have the willpower to achieve greatness in 2008? Only 10 months to go!



Filed under dating

11 responses to “No Asians 2008

  1. Pingback: Dating - Find your perfect match » No Asians 2008

  2. I was talking to Will the other day and found out that he’s been dating an egg…doesn’t that mean he already failed?

  3. I just got off the phone with Will. He says eggs aren’t genetically Asian so it doesn’t count.

  4. Me

    There’s no way he’s gonna make it. I was hanging out with him the other night and I heard the failure in his voice. His only hope is that trendy little egg (incredible analysis by the way). Will and I should discuss whether or not I’m too late to jump on his anti-fetish bandwagon. Short guys 08??

  5. Hope

    This girl is an egg!

    Pedo’s dream, really.

    (I don’t see the big deal about Asian girls. We’re rather plain compared to most white girls.)

  6. reality

    It has already been established that men who chase Asian women obsessively have small penises.

  7. me: short guys 08!!!

    hope: will says a higher percentage of asians have slammin bodies, though their butterface potential is astronomically high.

    reality: thank god there’s finally a way to sort those assholes out!

  8. heres a suggestion to “Will”…

    Sleep with who ever says yes…Asian, African, White(ewwww), Jar of mayo, Gay guys….

    If Will stops sleeping with Asians his production is going to fall off by a solid 75% percent. I just don’t see the point of him taking Asians out of his line up.

  9. Pingback: Evolutionary Realities « DC Hero To The Rescue

  10. Pingback: My To-Do List « DC Hero To The Rescue

  11. Pingback: No Asians 2008 - Update « DC Hero To The Rescue

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