What If Michelle Obama Was White?

Barack, youre so smitten!

Barack, you're so smitten!

I voted “absentee-in-person” today, and realized that “absentee-in-person” was just a clever way to open polls for 2 weeks instead of 1 day (You can vote in Arlington County if you plan on being outside of the county on 11/4 for undisclosed personal business). Because, honestly, how does it make sense to have everybody vote on the same day? Fucking none, that’s how much.

In any case, as I was voting “No” on a measure to spend $50M on a water treatment plant, it hit me: if Michelle Obama was white, it would have completely changed this election. I was completely sure about this, but it was unclear to me exactly what would have changed. I came up with the following talking points:

  1. Black Women Would Hate Barack: He’d be just another rich/powerful Black man who married a White woman, which could have drawn enough ire from Black women to propel Hillary to the nomination. The only reason I’m unsure is I don’t know if single and married Black women would both vote against him. Totally unsure if either group would be cool with the White chick.
  2. What Kind of White Girl, Exactly?: If we’re talking Carla Bruni here (the obvious comparison), Obama would get absolutely slammed. It would be the double standard of all double standards, but there’s no way working class White people would vote for a Black man married to a White model, especially not one they already see as a tad ‘elitist’ (educated). If we’re talking Lucy Page, then I think it definitely works in his favor. Put it this way, people would listen to a Lucy-Page-type-wife when she talked about how they can trust Barack.
  3. It Would Completely De-Blackify Barack: I almost don’t want to write this because I voted for him, but this isn’t that big of a blog, so whatever. I’ve always thought it’s kind of strange how Barack was abandoned by his Black father and raised by his White mother/grandparents, but he married a Black woman. It goes against the whole “mom-impression” thing, it just doesn’t happen very often (see Tiger Woods for a good example). And I mean, he grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, which aren’t exactly Black-culture hotspots. I really need more information on his exes (I can’t find any info), but I assume he dated Black chicks all the way and was banging nothing but Marvin Gaye when it was time to get business done. The Black wife makes him a Black man more than a halfie. Not sure what effect this has.
  4. White Women Would LOVE Him: Ah, the hidden truth. Who am I kidding, Hillary wouldn’t have stood a chance. So we’ve all heard the “men love Sarah Palin because they’re attracted” thing, but why haven’t we heard the same about women for Obama? Is it just underreported, or is it just not as strong as it would be if Michelle was White? I’m just saying.
  5. In The End, It Wouldn’t Matter: The economy is all that matters in the end, and he would have cruised to victory either way.

Ed note: I have nothing against Michelle Obama. The question I should have asked was if a White woman would have been strong enough to be his rock during this 2 year campaign….

Advertisements

15 Comments

Filed under Current Events

15 responses to “What If Michelle Obama Was White?

  1. spaceman

    interesting question. i doubt he would have ever gotten this far. maybe lost in primary to hiliary. it would’ve deblackified him enough to lose some of the black voters which seem to have been very mobilized by his bid for the presidency.

    i’d bang palin but have her as president? no way. she’s most likely a cunt.

  2. And I mean, he grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, which aren’t exactly Black-culture hotspots. I really need more information on his exes (I can’t find any info), but I assume he dated Black chicks all the way and was banging nothing but Marvin Gaye when it was time to get business done. The Black wife makes him a Black man more than a halfie. Not sure what effect this has.

    He did not date black women growing up. In his bio he mentions dating white chicks, Asians, and a biracial chick. I think he deliberately married Michelle Obama to “blackify” him for when he entered politics. Not only is he half-black, but that black is not African-American black but straight from Africa. He needed some tie to the African-American experience of slavery, Civil Rights, etc. and she is it.

    White Women Would LOVE Him

    White women DO love him. Ever hear of Obamagirl?

    The economy is all that matters in the end, and he would have cruised to victory either way.

    It would matter to black people in general and black women in particular, trust me. Ask Harold Ford.

  3. jg82567

    just a little fyi…tiger woods is not black, according to him he’s cablinasian (everything but black) and his mother is Taiwanese…presumably, if it was about the ‘mom impression’, he’d be dating lucy liu or some other Asian chick

  4. Eh, shaky ground there. After all, Asian girls are just a subset of White girls.

  5. AV

    Re: “Asian girls are just a subset of White girls.”

    Wrong. I think the Asian girls would disagree with that assessment.

  6. Joe B

    Use standard English, you twits. The question should read “What if Michelle Obama WERE White?”

  7. lisa

    “I think he deliberately married Michelle Obama to “blackify” him for when he entered politics”

    What kind of ignorant crap is that? I’m so sure he was given divine sight to see into his future. He married her because they were in love and they clicked not to further his political agendas. America is full of ignoramuses.

  8. barbara jones

    Maybe he just found an intelligent, educated attractive women whom he loved, from his own culture. Why is that so difficult for you to accept?

  9. shaneika

    Well she is not! Obama is a strong black man and every strong black man will accept nothing less than a strong black woman by his side. Like all black women I sure she wares the pants in the family, and her word is last word. Let me see a white woman try it with a Blackman it is not going to happen.

  10. Tash

    Michelle Obama is a very lucky and intelligent woman. I really envy her in a good way. Good luck Michelle.

  11. tina

    You know, why can’t two strong black intelligent people just be in love and want to be all they can be without it being some type of political escalator scam? Old fashioned genuine love and respect for one another in a marriage does still exist in this world! What you should see in all he media coverage is Michelle has a grand amount of respect for her husband, what the world should see is
    that they build each other up, not step on each other!! Stop adding outtakes, we have a lot of work ahead of us, and we all live in this country together, so everything going on with this country involves all of us, after all it’s the idle hands of negative critisism that has increased the nations woes till this day, can we make a positive difference, yes you should!!!!

  12. Tanya1022

    Wow, this is really crazy. What a question. I don’t think he was even interested in politics when he met his wife. As everyone loves to point out he does not have a long political history. So that scratches out the theory he married her for his political career. Who could even suggest he marries her for any reasons other than love and no hidden agenda behind it. They have a beautitul family you can see the love and respect she has for him and him for her. If his wife would have been white he would not have been the same man so he probably would not have been anywhere near the White House.

  13. race matters to 98 percent of Americans. I dont mean that 98 percent are racist, I simply mean, that race matters. So…if Michelle were white, things would have been very very different.

  14. You’ve wrote a very well-written entry.
    If it’s fine with you, I would like to ask permission to use your article as it relates to my obstruction. I will be happy to negotiate to pay you or hire you for this.

    With Regards from
    Republic Polytechnic

  15. Malik Castellanoz

    I’m sometimes surfing the online world almost all of the time and well , i want to read substantially, which unfortunately will not be typically the perfect matter as most of the net resources I find consist of useless garbage copied from a number of other websites. however I gotta say this web site is at actual fact half decent and in many cases includes some authentic content, therefore we appreciate you splitting the pattern of just copying other peoples’ sites.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s