Declaration of Energy Independence

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the currently proposed “Energy Revolution” is a modern day version of the original American Revolution. The similarities are striking. In both cases, Americans willingly sent money overseas to Kings/Tyrants/Dictators until the monetary amounts increased enough to push Americans past their breaking point. This doesn’t speak something about Americans as much as it does about general human nature.

Individuals and groups comprised of individuals (redundancy alert) will take a surprising amount of shit before they are motivated to take action. I’m convinced that the Alpha-ness of the individual (or group) is inversely proportional to the amount of shit they take before they kick their attackers in the balls. Unfortunately, the modern world doesn’t allow us to be the alpha dogs we should be where we go around kicking countries in the balls if they fuck with us. This is because we’re foolishly dependent on countries we should be kicking in the balls like a kid who gets his allowance from a stepfather who won’t pay him unless he calls him ‘dad’. This charade has gone on long enough.

It’s time we start laundering 10’s at McDonalds from that kid to prints them down the street so we can start kicking our stepfather in the balls when he says “don’t call me Bill, call me Dad”. Of course it’s not like we’re the only ones scheming here. You might have missed it because of it’s unforgivable under-coverage, but the Saudi’s left OPEC last week. That certainly helps things, but we have a little ways to go before we can tell Israel “good luck with the Middle East, hope it works out for you”. Honestly, our Beta support of Israel is the most embarrassing thing about America. There’s probably some reason they have us by the balls outside of their ability to strike Arab oil-states with nuclear weapons. Because otherwise, supporting them through thick and thin makes us look like their little bitch.

Ugh, I know a lot of readers who make it to this point will be pissed because they think this is boring. But politics and picking up women are so strikingly similar to each other. The lies, the great first impressions, the ability to tell people exactly what they want to hear… and now that HD is taking hold and we’re getting good-looking politicians involved, it’s getting more exciting than ever. Or maybe it’s just this whole DC-bubble thing.

In any case, I’m going on a backpacking trip for a few weeks to see what kind of a bubble I’m really in. I’ve gotten some verbal/e-mail agreements from some readers to provide some guest posts in my absence, but I welcome all submissions (helpmehero@gmail.com). There are no real guidelines, but I suggest you write something on a topic that people usually disagree on and argue your point of view while you point out the retardedness of people with the opposite view.

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