I’m sure every guy has read or heard the idea that girls who are 5’s or 6’s aren’t easy to hit on because “they get hit on all the time, it’s easier to hit on girls who are 7’s, 8’s, or even 9’s because guys are afraid to approach them”.
I’ve always taken this for granted, but I’m confident now that this reasoning is fundamentally flawed.
Men think that women look at prospective men the same way they look at prospective women. They think girls have a threshold of attractiveness, and every guy above that threshold (in looks, wealth, wit, charisma, etc.) is passable for them. Because, of course, if a man would bang it out with a 6 he wouldn’t hesitate with an 8.
But this isn’t true. Girls like to match themselves with men who equal them. In other words, men whose combined qualities (looks, wealth, with, et al) equal their attractiveness. If the man is overqualified for the position (girls are surprisingly realistic when it comes to what men they can get with their looks), the girl won’t hear him out. In other words, you better step down your game if you plan on slumming it. Hopefully you’ll never be in such a desparate situation.
It’s worth noting that the attractiveness ratings of girls (1-10) are based on your current level of game. In other words, every guy has “tight game girls” (8-10) and “no game girls” (5-6) which vary in objective attractiveness based on his personal attributes. This idea fits in with One Man’s 6 is Another Man’s 8. So when you look at a girl and decide that she’s an 8 or a 9, that’s a girl who probably is on your aforementioned level. Tight game to her will be well received. Tight game to a 5 or 6 will be met with nervous laughter, genuine fear, and an overall air of skepticism that will derail your trolling fantasies. Don’t bother.
Oh, and another thing. Whenever you see girls dancing with their friends (but not in a tight circle) and lip-synching the words to the music, those girls are game for almost any guy to come up to them. I think that’s the only club-game there is.
DC Hero To The Rescue 
DChero : If the man is overqualified for the position (girls are surprisingly realistic when it comes to what men they can get with their looks), the girl won’t hear him out. In other words, you better step down your game if you plan on slumming it.
This is 100% true. Sadly this happens even with some hot girls – the ones who have self esteem issues, which leads them to think that a guy is too good for them even though, really, he isn’t.
Even ugly women looked attractive when they were in their teens. beautiful women usually look good until their midthirties. Ugly girls however become really fast hags after their middtwenties. But even those girls were attractive at 16.
Read this article.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20010701-000023&print=1
As an above average girl I still have very low self-esteem because of the contrast effect.
what happened to no blogging while you’re away?
i knew you couldn’t do it. haha
rob, I planned on posting things I got from readers but those things have turned out to be total shit. i’m talking to you monica, sergey, and yuri.
fair enough. i tip my hat to you sir, maintaining a high standard.
@ Hope
That is a very clear article. I read it with interest and dedicated a post to it on my own blog today. Not that the article brought any news to me, but many people like to see things “scientifically proven” before they want to accept it as a piece of reality. Unfortunately my blog is in Dutch.
To all females who might read this –
Beauty is about more than how you look, but how you feel about yourself; it’s about having that confidence to not care about how beautiful the woman next to you may be. You should be able to recognize her beautiful facade for it’s aesthetic value — stare for a few moments, maybe befriend her — but move past it. Confidence speaks volumes — the way a woman carries herself is so important, along with the ability to laugh and be yourself — and guys pick up on it immediately.
Say the contrast effect is at work, maybe a guy would immediately gravitate towards the most exquisite beauty in the room, but that attraction can fade fast if nothing else about the female continues to hold his attention, or worse, a character or behavioral flaw may turn him off. In that case, he will take a look at the other females in the room in a different light and the contrast effect will be overcome. Then it will be the girls who have everything else who will be the most desired.
So basically, more damaging and powerful than the contrast effect itself is the indirect effect of it, the feeling of low self-esteem that some females (or males in the reverse situation) may feel. There is nothing more damaging to any male or female than a pervasive, chronic or permanent low self-esteem.
So do something to make yourself feel great and the next time you find yourself in a situation where the contrast effect may be working against you, remember to keep your cool and not feel any burn and you will show the members of the opposite sex how beautiful and attractive you truly are. Then maybe you can write an article that scientifically validates how the ‘contrast effect’ can be overcome.
Well, Monica, thanks, but I for me am way past this. The text I wrote on my blog about the above article was directed to my male readers, not to insecure females, because I have no such readers (females yes, insecure no).
There is not a thing I do or don’t in order to appear more attractive to men. Come on, what are we in fact talking about. M E N. Scum. Balls on leggs. Who needs those? Wat FOR, Monica?
Don’t get me wrong, I looove looking and feeling good. But the reasons for it have nothing to do with a supposed desire for male attention. Ironically, the less I care, the more attention I get. Which, by the way, does not make me change my mind one bit. On the contrary. As far as I’m concerned, guys who pay attention to me that way (and for guys it’s nearly always “that” way) are demonstrating their weakness. So all I give them is my back.
Agreed about the contrast effect. A NY 9 is an LA 7.5 or a Swedish 6.5. This also causes self-esteem discrepancies. A girl can lives in LA and is a 7.5 there will have self-esteem issues and be easy to game, whereas a girl that looks worse but lives in NY where a chick can be homely as hell and still be conceited will have out of control self-esteem and require A-game.
I know, I know. forgot to mention i’m taking my quals this coming Monday. i’d love to sound off on sarah palin’s latest interviews and girls lacking humor sooner rather than later.
Frankie,
I agree with you totally on not wasting a second of your time on guys who aren’t worth it, and there is definitely an inordinate amount of them out there. And I love looking and feeling good too — when I have the energy for it — and really, it’s not that I do it for guys, but when guys react positively to it, that just makes me feel even sexier!
Hey hero, how are you doing? I thought it would be nice to pimp your blog with a nice piece of literature. So here we go. By the way: I could have written it. You must know, I hardly read feminist literature. That is because I can observe and think for myself. But it’s still nice to discover that I’m not the only one.
“The male is completely egocentric, trapped inside himself, incapable of empathizing or identifying with others, or love, friendship, affection of tenderness. He is a completely isolated unit, incapable of rapport with anyone. His responses
are entirely visceral, not cerebral; his intelligence is a mere tool in the services of his drives and needs; he is incapable of mental passion, mental
interaction; he can’t relate to anything other than his own physical sensations. He is a half-dead, unresponsive lump, incapable of giving or receiving pleasure or happiness; consequently, he is at best an utter bore, an inoffensive blob,
since only those capable of absorption in others can be charming. He is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than the apes because, unlike the apes, he is capable of a large array of negative feelings – hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, doubt – and moreover, he is aware of what he is and what he isn’t.”
– Valerie Solanas –
SCUM Manifesto
Damn, Hero, sorry for my moodswings, to have polluted your weblog with literature like this.
Solanas is generalizing too much, there are males that I appreciate and again, I’m sorry for the pollution.
Now I’ll go and pollute my own weblog some more.
“As far as I’m concerned, guys who pay attention to me that way (and for guys it’s nearly always “that” way) are demonstrating their weakness. So all I give them is my back.” -FrankiePebbles
I just love the paradox that is developed from that reality.
The large majority it is likely your initial reaction, that they are insecure and thus need to prove themselves, however I would question whether or not this is always the case. How do you know they are not simply ignoring (or just blind to) the fact that you seem uninterested and are actually attracted to you for other attributes or qualities?
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Great issue, I did not thought it was going to be so interesting when I read the title!!