The Perfect Storm

If we make it to the eye, then we just have to get through what we already went through...

If we make it to the eye, then we just have to get through what we already went through...

Whenever I think I’m too doom and gloom on the economy, I see a story like this one that reminds me we’re in for a long haul here. When the Yuppies have stopped buying, it’s time to be scared. In fact, could this be the end of Yuppies as we know them.

As a cultural historian, I’ve studied the gradual decline of Yuppies since their most recent peak before the burst of the dot-com bubble. They’ve seen this crisis coming for quite some time, since they were the first to realize that their free-spending credit-paved roads to happiness would, sooner or later, come to an abrupt cliff. They invented “Hipsterism” which cleverly embraces overpriced cheap-looking clothes in preparation for the times where they’ll have to rely on cheap cheap-looking clothes to survive. And it’s pretty much the same thing with beer (PBR) and cigarettes (American Spirits). They should rename ‘Urban Outfitters’: ‘Transition to Forced Poverty’. Of course that would be too direct for this crowd, but I digress.

In any case the deflation of the dollar, the rapid decline in market capitalization tied to deflation, and the sudden decline in home equity that caused the deflation in the first place has led to a scenario where the US Government has to print money and spend it to produce a counterbalancing inflationary force. Virtually all agree that this spending should be long-term-investment based.

The preceding paragraph is, more or less, a wet dream for Progressives. In fact, it’s a Perfect Storm for our esteemed President-Elect. He’ll have (almost) unprecedented opportunities to spend large sums of money on programs and institutions that have a chance to fix things. What could be better? It’s like being a venture capitalist with unlimited funds, which I think would be the best job in the World if it ever existed. Fantastic.

So when unemployment rises from the current 6.5% to 12-15% (with a significant gender bias of a much higher percentage of unemployed males, much more to come on this), the crime rates go through the roof (it’s clear to me now that a good economy was the biggest factor in post-abortion crime rate reduction), and we start realizing what really happened here, the Government will have to spend cash left and right to dig us out of this thing. It’s the Perfect Storm for Mr. Obama.

When my friend’s 9 year old kid asked me about the financial crisis, I told him very simply (and do correct me if I’m wrong): everyone thought there was a lot of cash everywhere, and then they realized a lot of that cash didn’t exist. This cash was created when housing prices went up, and then it disappeared when they went down. When people realized this, the value of cash went up and the government had to create new money out of thin air to avoid the value going up too fast. Then he asked me if the government can just keep printing money until it’s all better. I told him that’s the basic plan.

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