The Best Interracial Couples

With election season at hand and both sides telling us how bad America is, it’s time to look at something America kicks the rest of the world’s ass at: interracial dating. Of course, mixed-race superiority (Tiger Woods, Barack Obama, and half-Asian girls worldwide) is becoming more and more apparent and, unsurprisingly, interracial marriages are becoming more and more common (~5% of American marriages in the 2000 Census). Eventually, these two factors will lead to a worldwide mixing of races that will make the lines between them greyer and greyer until they are all more or less indistinguishable from one other. We can only stab a guess as to when this will happen. What we can do is celebrate the classic interracial couple parings that will sadly fade over the coming Millenia. I will rank the top 5 pairings in an order I will reveal at the end:

5. Black man and slightly overweight White woman

This is probably the stereotype of stereotypes for interracial dating. I predict that America’s obesity epidemic will peak at the same exact moment Mulatto conception peaks. After that peak, this pairing will disappear into the yearbooks of yesteryear.

4. Nerdish White man and slightly flat chested Asian woman

The portrayal of girls in Anime comics/movies/video-games sinlessly describes the perfect woman for this growing segment of men. A combination of not speaking English, looking 14 years old, and being the most unintimidating human beings in the world provide the perfect aphrodisiac for nerds. I keep staring at this picture because it’s so damn perfect. Her Asian excitement is tempered by his somewhat creepy and Nerdy relief, which is combined with just the right amount of clinginess. Truly a match made in heaven.

3. Demanding Arab man and submissive White woman

A relative newcomer to the party, this fast-growing phenomenon is growing as some women realize that they don’t want to be the head of the household and, instead, would like to be dominated. I wouldn’t have taken this seriously if I didn’t read about it in a dating forum (I can’t find the link!) and hear about it colloquially. Keep an eye on this one.

2. Redhead man/woman and Nobody

Contrary to urban legend, red hair isn’t going to be vanished from humanity any time soon. Those recessive genes have the awful habit of hiding themselves in people. But we can all agree, if you have red heads at the top of your list, you’re truly a sick fuck.

1. Cougars and young Latino men

I think the whole “pool boy banging the right housewife” stereotype is just a rationalization of Cougar-lust for the relentless Latino Heat. And let’s be honest here, the whole ‘Eva Longoria banging the gardener to cheat on her Latino husband’ plot on Desperate Housewives was nothing more than a clever way to reshape the reality of the legend. It’s obvious that Eva should be a wealthy, retired White model banging her Latino gardener. If girls out there already knew this, please let me know.

Oh, and the order from 1-5 goes: 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. Thanks for playing.

21 Comments

Filed under dating

21 responses to “The Best Interracial Couples

  1. Black man and slightly overweight White woman

    Hey, the chubby (or fat) white girl in that photo is downright attractive. With some acrylic nails, she’d be perfect for me!

  2. i already knew that about rich white cougars and latinos, i think that deserves a CP

  3. haha. hilarious

    I’m assuming you modeled number 4 on you(when wearing your glasses) and all of the Asian girls you tend to attract?

  4. spaceman

    classic post

  5. On the Asian woman/nerdy white guy match — there is an exception. I’m a nerdy white guy, married to a Korean woman — and she is anything but unintimidating. Have you ever dealt with a Korean customer? Scary.

  6. Skip, I can definitely see that. I’m starting to feel like all Asian women are a little more focused and calculating than the average woman, and that the ‘unintimidating girl’ thing is just a front.

    On a completely separate note, I think the girl in the picture is Korean. On a note related to that one, I’d highly recommend you take the “faces” test at alllooksame.com to see how well you can differentiate Asians.

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  8. lol. another new addition is the moderately/successful indian male and bitchy/demanding woman who now frequent the triangle area of NC.

  9. Hope

    “to see how well you can differentiate Asians.”

    True story, the other day an Asian girl came up to me and asked me my nationality.

    If I’m Asian and can’t differentiate Asians, and other Asians can’t differentiate Asians either, why are white guys even bothering?

  10. stop being racist its mean

  11. Don’t be racist. Do you think it’s right to make fun of people’s color of skin? We are all equal. And the Asian thing was just plain mean.

  12. Rome82

    Just discovering this great blog now–can’t help but comment on some old-ass posts. LOL at the soft-headed “don’t be racist it’s mean” comments. Is it mean if it’s true?

  13. whatever

    your a steriotypical asshole! go to hell

  14. XC

    How about some good old chubby white chicks on half-white half-filipino dudes?
    Sorry, my personal preference as it would describe my current relationship. I think it’s fucking hot.

    Mmmhm. Anyway, more for the topic at hand. I didn’t know what to expect from this. Originally I was thinking in my head, “Oh great, let’s blog about silly racism jokes.” before I clicked the link. But this is pure genius. Kudos out the wazoo.

  15. AVjeeper

    You are all dilusional. Deport the wetbacks. Don’t hire them to cut your lawn or for anything else. They’re like stray dogs. Pay them once and you can’t get rid of them and… they reproduce like roaches. Next thing you know, you were trying to save a buck and now you have created an infestation.

  16. Sarah

    What do you have against redheads?

  17. Savonny

    I think this is all wrong Every one of you is wrong, how America digest the fact of all this is wrong. We’re hipocrits, just like in the 60′s when we judged blacks, and terorozed them. Then we got to the Mexicans calling them noo good. Well heres to all white folks, blacks (‘wasap’), and any other culture. America is to catigorized you see. Were all built on a theory of wrong and right. God essentialy made us who we are today. Dont judge it. Because its who we are. As much as I hate seeing white females with the best of black men, I accept it. They’re happy and thats all what matters. You cant judge a book by its cover. (No seriously you cant, the best book ive ever read had a blank cover) Its who we are, I bet that each one of you weigh out and catigorize the opinions of many people. To be honest I believe the best black men, my brother for example, living great, in colledge becoming something most black men cant. Was dating a white girl, has liked ‘em ever since grade school. He was the small percentage of black males who actually do something with there lives. And yet the White girl left him. White people are nolliged on what ‘not’ to do. One, ever marry a ‘Negro’ well thats sad becouse like many others its who they are. My father fell for a beatiful white woman. She left her marrige and kids behind for him. I was considered her children at that point. Until her mother clearly told my father that he would never be one of them, that he would never make it as a part of the family , and shell make sure of it! That is what I call catigorized. Open your eyes, is this helping you in any way. I think the white girl looks beautiful with an African Super Man from the wild jungles of the dark. And shes a beautiful vanilla white supreme with a cherry on top. I accepted it. They look happy.

  18. Um, excuse me, but my boyfriends are always black, and I don’t appreciate the overweight white woman stereotype. It’s hurtful. Personally, I am not overweight. I can see my ribs, asshole. I get white guys and black guys, I just have a preference for black men. So shut up, because skinny girls + black guys are true too. It’s a vicious stereotype which I never hear the end of, and it needs to stop.

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