Moving To A New Place Phase III: Establish “Your Places”

the locals moving to a new place

Now it’s time to tell those fucking locals what time it is: your time to teach fast lessons to slow learners. If you’ve completed Phase I and Phase II, you’ve caught yourself up to speed on what it takes to be a local. You know the local culture, you have your own opinions on what places/events are cool, and (just as importantly) you have your own opinions on what places suck. I’ve found that in a lot of places I’ve moved to the locals will blab on and on about how good a bar/restaurant is, but in reality it’s just been there forever and it’s living off it’s undeserving reputation. It’s interesting that in DC the locals aren’t really locals and they realize these places (Ben’s Chili Bowl, Eastern Market, etc.) are kind of lame.

Now it’s time to establish your favorite bars, favorite restaurants, and yes, your group of friends. By now you know what’s out there and you understand the culture, you have enough information to make these kinds of decisions. I’ve found that most people skip Phase I and Phase II and try to jump right into Phase III, which is a huge mistake. How can you make friends and become a regular at a bar/restaurant if you don’t know what else is out there? Makes no sense to me. The locals eat those fuckers alive.

By now, you also have enough information to know what the single men/girls are out there and you can begin to adjust your expectations up or down based on what’s out there. By now you’ve let go of your past and all of your exes, so this shouldn’t be hard to do. You are playing a different ballgame in a different city and you need to adjust your expectations accordingly. If you are unwilling to adjust them if you find you need to adjust them downwards you should strongly consider moving. Don’t lie to yourself, it’s unhealthy.

If you’re a woman, look for a target and label him: Option 1. Keep in mind that you should always seem available to him, but you can still pursue Options 2-5 on the side. Girls should have ranked lists of guys in order of their desirability and work their way from the top to the bottom. And men should read better bloggers than me for advice on how to move up the ladder being a player in the city, but it’s still important to know what the three groups of women (put in no work, put in some work, put in a lot of work) look like in your new locale.

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