Hero How-To: Making A Scene

making a scene, anger

The other day, I saw something so pathetic I feel emasculated just writing about it. This girl was breaking up with her boyfriend and when she turned to walk away he said, in a moderate voice, “So that’s it? You’re just going to leave me like that?” Then he looked around (for what???), said “I can’t believe it”, and slowly walked away shaking his head.

After I laughed, I realized that he tried to make a scene. But buddy, you made so many mistakes. I mean, when you make a scene, nobody should be laughing at you. They should either be looking away, running away, or laughing at the person causing you to make the scene. Let’s go over what he should have done:

  1. Sworn loudly and deliberately. Saying “You FUCKING WHORE!” while pointing at her would have been a good start.
  2. Grabbed her like he was going to physically harm her. This would get everyone’s attention, which is the whole fucking point of making a scene in the first place.
  3. Screamed at her in an obscenity laced tirade of how much of a slut she is, how ugly she is, and how he cheated on her. It doesn’t matter if any of this is true or even if he plans on getting back together with her, he can always say he got caught up in the moment. Girls forgive tirades shockingly easily.
  4. Stop the tirade, give her the Alpha Stare, look like he’s about to hit her, then let her go and walk away slowly and deliberately.
  5. Scene made.

For the times in life you need to make a scene, remember the basics:

  1. Be loud
  2. Swear
  3. Appear to be on the brink of physical violence
  4. Disregard anything said to you
  5. Walk away slowly and deliberately when you’ve made your point


Filed under Self Improvement

5 responses to “Hero How-To: Making A Scene

  1. bata

    can u wirte a how to on not been passive-aggressive in the matters of love? how do u trust and let go?

  2. Monica

    What would be the point of him making a scene? To make a bigger fool of himself than the girl already did in public? Do you think him making a scene would attract the girl enough to want to stay with him? Making a scene would show immaturity, inability to control his emotions and a lack of respect — particularly if he lied and called the girl a whore. If you want to give instructions on when to make a scene, maybe you should pick a situation for which making a scene would be appropriate for a guy. Or maybe you just think that he’s already at the bottom, so he can just embarrass himself a little more, while having a little fun in the process, taking it to a level of ridiculousness. I could hardly imagine a situation more humiliating than that.

  3. Reasons for making a scene:

    1. For self-respect.

    I’m not suggesting that the guy needed to make a scene, he easily could have just walked away. But he chose to make one and he didn’t know the first thing about it. I’m just saying what he should have done once he decided to make a scene. All things considered, I probably would have made a scene given what I witnessed.

  4. JM

    Hmm. My line for people who are having a tirade/making a scene: “You’re decompensating. I am not going to talk to you until you can pull yourself together.” Then I calmly walk away. Humiliates them every time.

    In the situation you described, the power is in NOT reacting. His face should have been emotionless and his body still and relaxed. As soon as she said something to the effect that they should break up he should have casually agreed with a “sounds good, see ya” and then immediately turned and walked away before she could make any more parting comments to his face.

    She’s primed for an argument and by agreeing with her he’s taken all her ammo and retained the upper hand. He’s also left her wondering why he agreed so readily.

  5. Ruso

    how’s the DC hero investigation on female humor coming?

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