Boys are Creepy

In a scintillating follow-up to my last post on why girls are boring, I solve the right hand side of the equation. In the title I wrote ‘boys’ instead of ‘men’ or the oft-used ambiguous pseudonym ‘guys’ because being creepy is nothing but being inexperienced. Boys that don’t know how to act inevitably act creepy when the sexual tension gets thick.

It’s all so clear to me how it works. Inexperience leads to a misunderstanding of the relatively asexual way girls see the world. If I assumed girls were as filthy with their thoughts as I am, it would be pretty difficult for me to escalate anything without being creepy. I guess an aversion to creepiness is just a girl’s instinct to stay away from inexperienced men.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Whether it’s a girl being boring or a boy being creepy, they can get away with a lot more bore and creepiness if they’re physically attractive. I know a few brain dead hot chicks, but I wouldn’t describe any of them as boring because my mind has plenty of things to be occupied with when they’re around. And no matter what I do to a girl who finds me attractive, she won’t think I’m creepy. Well, maybe not “no matter what”, but it’s surprisingly hard.

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “Boys are Creepy

  1. If a girl tells me I’m attractive, I immediately start thinking of 5 or 6 really depraved sexual acts to try out during our first night together…

    You never know, the window for attractiveness is limited and this could be the one girl who wouldn’t mind if we both role-played like we’re autistic kids meeting in the handicap stall and then making wierd retard sounds and spastic arm motions during love-making. Ya know? ummm…

    nevermind

  2. Hope

    Young virgin boys as a whole are not that creepy, usually just energetic and sweet, and get really wide-eyed when girls start doing anything with them.

    But when a guy is 20+ and is still doing stuff like that, then he starts to give off massive creepy vibes. Usually it’s because they’re lying off their ass. I do speak from experience.

  3. Kasey

    Brain dead hot chicks are… just that. Boring. After three weeks of endless screwing, they’re really boring. Then you get “too busy” to hang out anymore.

  4. Frankie

    Touching.

  5. I’d rather be boring than creepy.

  6. lethebashar

    This is actually an enlightening analysis of the sexes for me. Often I’ve felt “creepy” myself because I was stuck in the limbo between approaching a stranger and asking her name, and being too afraid to do so. If I had more confidence I’d probably begin talking with no problem. But tend to glance a couple times and become wishful or dreamy. It wouldn’t surprise me if sometimes I appeared stupid if not creepy. As for girls being boring. I just find it funny that this is the equilvalent to boys being creepy. Very funny stuff. Thanks.

  7. vineetgupta

    Hmmm… It takes every guy several years of trial and error before he understands what to do and what not to do. I sympathize with the guy above – he’s pathetic at present, but he’ll (hopefully) learn gradually.

  8. johnny five

    ^^^ vineet gupta, no offense, but indian dudes usually need several decades of trial and error.

    i speak from experience: my handle grew up with this guy.

    (apologies if anyone here happens to be too young to get the allusion)

  9. johnny five

    kasey: Then you get “too busy” to hang out anymore.

    but never too busy to keep screwing.

    in one of life’s cruel ironies, i have found a strong negative correlation between a woman’s being a good fuck and her being good company. i hope eventually to find an outlier in the top right of the scatterplot*.

    *ideally, an outlier who would understand this statement.

  10. vineetgupta

    @johnny – No offense, but when did we start talking about Indian dudes?

  11. ry420guy

    you are putting the cart before the horse. girls wouldn’t need an instinct to stay away from inexperienced guys, if they are already inexperienced there must be some other reason for it, normally lack of confidence or otherwise hideous obesity.

    speaking of which, stop perpetuating this myth of “attractiveness” as being a major factor here. have you ever seem Lemmy from Motorhead? is there any woman on earth that doesn’t find him unattractive and creepy? the dude gets ass all the time.

  12. johnny five

    No offense, but when did we start talking about Indian dudes?

    …says ‘vineet gupta’, heh heh.

    race is always a fruitful topic.

  13. ry420guy, it’s my first instinct to say “rules don’t apply for rockstars”, but I can’t say that because I don’t believe that. I will say this:

    It’s very important for a man’s appearance to match his other attributes. Lemmy isn’t hiding any of his dirtiness, so I’m guessing that makes him less creepy. A creeper passing himself off as a clean guy? That’s creepy.

    As for your first point, it seems to me that the reasons behind the aversion (if they be lack of confidence or otherwise hideous obesity as you reasonably suggest) underscore the instinctual drive. It doesn’t matter if it’s inexperience or a cause for inexperience, the instinct remains regardless of cause.

  14. johnny five,

    *ideally, an outlier who would understand this statement.

    ALL the hot math nerds are Asian with no exceptions. I’ve found that learning a little of their native (even if they aren’t off the boat) language goes a long way. As does playing a musical instrument since all Asians play a musical instrument. I’m going to write a series of post about picking up Asian girls. If I was born to talk about anything, I was born to talk about this subject.

  15. vineetgupta

    “Johnny” probably thought I was being sarcastic.

    Don’t be so full of yourself, boy. That was a serious question.

    Guess you answered it yourself.

  16. johnny five

    dchero, the problem is that i’ve never been attracted to asian women. i’ve tried a couple of them, in the same way one might sample exotic cuisine, but they just don’t do for me what white and black girls do.

    you do have a point though. maybe i could ‘adopt’ one, and just have a steady stream of mistresses on the side.

    i can actually speak one of the major asian languages at an elementary level.

  17. Hope

    Asian girls are an acquired taste. I believe the taste is akin to that of pedobear?

    A lot of the guys I’ve dated in the past ended up “converting” to Asian girls afterwards. I think it’s a youth thing. If you didn’t date them during your HS and college days, you’re never really going to acquire the taste.

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