She’s Asian, But She’s Not Hot

I think by now everybody knows a funny looking white guy who has an Asian Fetish. These lemon-pickers/busdrivers go beyond succumbing to the Asian Persuasion that will do in most hot blooded males when confronted with a HAG (hot Asian girl). Said individuals will just be lost in the fact that she’s Asian without considering anything else, even when she’s obviously not all that. All they have to say about her to their buddies is something like “dude, she’s amazing, she’s so amazing”.

In fact, it seems that they can’t tell the difference between an ugly Asian girl and a HAG. If we look at guys who like blondes, their feelings are strikingly similar.

The above sentiments were brought up to me by an Asian girl (Ms. Luau). I do agree with them, and I think it provokes a larger discussion of fetishes.

As far as I can tell, men have many more fetishes than their female counterparts in both number and variety. In fact, after doing 20 seconds of research, I’ve concluded that fetishes are mostly limited to heterosexual men, and involve complex personal meanings behind the fetishes. How interesting.

As far as I know from the circle (more accurately, the heavily clustered network) of people I come in contact with, the Asian and Blonde fetishes are the most popular, with Latina coming in 3rd. These are the “spoken” fetishes. The Internet tells me that the most common non-human (“unspoken”) fetishes involve panty hose, panties, and high heels: all instruments of femininity. Interesting.

I conclude that there is no way to definitively say why a man would choose one fetish over another. However, it does seem that the only thing Blondes, Asians, panties, and high heels have in common is their association as symbols of femme. If fetishes arise due to a childhood stall in the Phallic stage of Freud’s Psychosexual development, it’s very likely that men will misplace their innate desire for femininity in the objects of fetishes. Women wouldn’t have this problem to the same degree because of a lack of childhood intimate contact with their fathers (in most normal cases).

So what can we say after taking this all in? Fetishes are for men who do not have a deep understanding of their sexuality and who are unable to distinguish true signs of femininity from the infrared countermeasures deployed by modern society. Men who are not attracted to any and all fertile women are the confused and misguided. It’s also unclear whether pornography will further confuse these individuals or magically clear things up. Wait, maybe that isn’t so unclear…



Filed under dating, Science

15 responses to “She’s Asian, But She’s Not Hot

  1. Zosimus the Heathen

    Um, does anyone take Freud’s theories on anything seriously any more?

  2. johnny five

    Men who are not attracted to any and all fertile women are the confused and misguided.

    ok, then you can have the mudturtles.

    most men i know, myself included, have at least strong preferences, if not true fetishes. for instance, red hair is +1-2 points in my book,* and i’d take a 6 who’ll dress for bed in slutty lingerie/makeup/stockings/high heels/etc over a 9 who won’t, any day. but the reason that these stop short of true fetishes is because i don’t consider them essential; i can actually get aroused without them. i think a true fetish is one that is sine qua non – if it ain’t there, it ain’t happening.

    *for some reason, though, i seem to end up with nothing but blondes.

  3. anyone with red hair is -10 in my book

  4. Zos, that was some minor supporting evidence. And yes, people who can further their cause by using Freud’s research will take it seriously, irrespective of it’s scientific validity.

    johnny, mudturtles aren’t fertile. hot girls are fertile. and we can argue over the verbiage, but the fetish i’m talking about is precisely assigning points to things that don’t directly correspond to a girls fertility. maybe i should have invented a word for that.

  5. T.

    Zosimus – People think Freud is less influential than he actually was because people only focus on his theories that still sound way out there by today’s standards. But do you realize how ubiquitous and unquestioned by today’s society so many of his other theories are? Do you believe in a unconscious mind that influences your conscious mind? That’s Freud. How about the concept of society causing people to be uptight and repressing their wild side for the sake of civilized conformity? Societal repression of animal instincts is also a Freudian concept taken for granted today. Same for transference. Problem is, these concepts are SO ubiquitious and accepted we don’t even associate them with Freud anymore, we just treat them as self-evident or common sense. But before Freud these ideas were not commonplace.

    As far as the topic goes, I find a lot of the white guys with bad Asian fetishes tend to be the ones who have little to no luck with white girls, even with the average ones. So when they find they have better luck with Asian girls, they develop a fetish. For some reason I find a lot of guys who seem to be intimidated by white women tend to be less intimidated by Asian women, maybe due to submissive stereotypes. (Note, I’m not saying that every white guy with an asian girlfriend or spouse is doing it because he can’t get a white woman, I’m specifically talking about white guys who have a hardcore Asian fetish to the point where they elevate any Asian chick to desirable hottie status) What I don’t get with John Lennon though is that (a) he was rich, famous and already had a hot white wife, so it wasn’t an example of not being able to get a white woman, and (b) even if he wanted an Asian woman so badly due to a fetish, he could have got a smoking hot one.

  6. T, and (c) she was 7 years older than him. Very strange. And I feel bad for those guys who have to import a non-English speaking wife because they have 0 game.

  7. Zosimus the Heathen

    dchero and T, thanks for the responses. I must admit, though, that I’ve long been distrustful of a lot of psychoanalytic theories, as they seem to assume that if you don’t end up succumbing to the tyranny of conformity, you’re a failure in life. As for the main topic at hand – fetishes – mm, I’ve known a few interesting examples of those in my time!

  8. lactatingbookworm

    Stumbled across your website from the wordpress home page. I get people with lactating fetishes stumbling across my site – more specifically lactating asian fetishes hmmm I wonder if it matters to them whether the face attached to the mammary glans. I don’t think fetishes are limited to men from what my friend in the scene has told me. Each to their own…so long its consensual and with adults.

    As for the submissive Asian stereotype – Asia’s a very big place. The whole “submissive/dragon woman” Asian dichotomy is just a ethnic variation of the “madonna/whore” syndrome.

    As for a person who will elevate any Asian to hot stuff status – each to their own. I know someone who is in love with a bearded woman.

    So long their adults and its consensual, and no one has been trafficked.

    As for Freud…he was on coke most of his professional life, and he advocated its usage to patients.

    Though there is some relevancy to his observations on the stages of development – though Piaget and Erikson’s variation seems to make more sense when applying it to a human child.

    Also I’m not sure it’s always about sex. A cigar sometimes is just a cigar.

  9. Here’s a crazy idea. Maybe Lennon wanted to be with Ono because he loved *her.* I know, I know, it can’t possibly be true… but what if it was?

    I read an account of how they met and what it said to me was he totally geeked out over her *mind* and it just went on from there.

    Men fetishize women more than the reverse, I think, because men more often objectify women than the reverse. You, in fact, are an excellent candidate for fetishizing, being that you so freely judge women on their “hotness” factor and don’t seem to give a rip if we have any redeeming qualities otherwise, whatsoever.

  10. ry420guy

    the last 2 comments sorta blew my mind. lactatingbookworm and Dana postulate that perhaps looks and sex weren’t the most important thing to Lennon. that explanation totally didn’t occur to me until now.

  11. T.

    As for the submissive Asian stereotype – Asia’s a very big place. The whole “submissive/dragon woman” Asian dichotomy is just a ethnic variation of the “madonna/whore” syndrome.

    I’m not saying that the submissive Asian stereotype is universally true, just that at least in the mind of Asian fetishists it is true, since that’s a justification many of them give to me for their fetish.

  12. ramblingperfectionist

    “Fetishes are for men who do not have a deep understanding of their sexuality and who are unable to distinguish true signs of femininity from the infrared countermeasures deployed by modern society.”

    What if they CAN distinguish, but they decided they just LIKE it this way? Whatever consensual way that is…is it such a bad thing?

  13. Frankie

    Because 9’s are too rare and/for much too smart to want to procreate, 6’s are an overwhelming majority. To men (of whom none is a 9) this hurts just a little bit. Men absolutely prefer quantity over quality. They prefer relatively cheap availability for all to see over hidden treasures.

    Clever men know instinctively that the best will never be available. If recognizable at all. Men end up marrying just another of those many millions of Azians or Blondes. Or anything ugly they can lay their hands on, as soon as they get tired of hunting around. Marriage is for the tired, the weak and the stupid.

    And so mankind remains a mediocre species. Other than, let’s say, panthers. Ever seen a credible panther that is a 6?

  14. Cornelia

    John had the most beautiful love declaration to Yoko that even if he will go to Heaven he would like to be with her.

  15. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

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