Haters

Europeans hating the U.S. is often perceived as a fact of life. In my experience, it’s mainly the Europeans that are likely to interact with the outside world who are most Anti-American. These people are the socially and economically well-off class of people. The high class. Since class mobility is lower in Europe and wealth is spread out more evenly than almost as unequally distributed as it is in the U.S., this high class of people can get on their high horse and tell us how we’re wrong about everything without worrying about the poor taking their places. Nevermind that about 200 years of bad German philosophy is really to blame for the collapse of Europe, I don’t want the facts to stand in their way or anything.

Anyway, I don’t want to examine the how’s or why’s of Anti-Americanism. I want to talk about an issue that started in the rap community and has spread to bitter people worldwide: Hating.

Urban Dictionary defines hating as:

A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.

Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesnt really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock someone else down a notch.

What an awful trait to have. In my experience, haters need to get laid. That’s pretty much at the core of it. I think people like to take others down a notch because they think it will help them get the ass they want. This makes me want to buy “Hating won’t get you laid” t-shirts, or just say that into a hater’s face at the very least. But if I do that, am I just hating a hater? That’s even worse. How the hell are we supposed to deal with haters?

The answer is pretty simple and not too exciting. Ignore the haters. If you’re feeling particularly bored, thank them for hating because it reduces your boredom and they spread your message further than any non-hater ever could. In fact, I propose a Hater Appreciation Day of May 3rd. This is because Cinco de Mayo falls on a Monday this year and we have to party on the 3rd for the “observed” holiday. Observed holidays are for losers, it’s better to create a new holiday and celebrate on that day.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Haters

  1. rob

    i will happily join you on may 3rd for hater appreciation. we should celebrate it at a place that is most likely to have a high concentration of haters……hmmm…must deliberate further

  2. Wonderful 🙂 Id love to join you but I sadly live in Sweden so i cant be part of this celebration 😦

  3. Scott Sleek

    Yeah, and people could have hate-ins.

  4. johnny five

    This makes me want to buy “Hating won’t get you laid” t-shirts, or just say that into a hater’s face at the very least. But if I do that, am I just hating a hater?

    no.

    read the definition again: ‘hating’ is predicated upon the success of whoever is on the business end of the hatorade.

    ironically, in the unlikely event that said haters actually listen to you, you might even be providing them with free therapy.

  5. Frankie

    This is clever. Probably you’re not an American.

  6. Tot

    I’m European and I can tell you you’re mistaken if you think upper class people here hate America. It’s the opposite. Upper class in my country are conservative and love America. It’s just that media never show u the Europeans that like America. If there was a disaster here, everyone would flee to America.
    Interesting post otherwise!

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