This is part 4 of a 5 part series on The Perfect Woman. In this series, there are 5 different bloggers who give their own thoughts on the subject. Check out Roissy with Part 1, VK with Part 2, and T with Part 3. Blogger and author of one of my favorite books (Bang, a field guide on picking up and putting down chicks), Roosh, will be nightcapping this series tomorrow. Let’s get to this shit already.
To me, ‘The Perfect Woman’ is too vague. I’d like to define it, then work from there. ‘The Perfect Woman’ is who I would like to spend a month with crusing the Mediterranean on my private yacht. What kind of things would I do with a woman who filled those shoes? We would feed each other grapes. She would sing timeless French love songs. And I would write her sestinas as I watched her flutter off to sleep underneath a perfect backdrop of a sunset crawling on the small waves.
On second thought, I’d rather spend the month with exactly 3 women. This is because the 3 Woman Formula (3WF) has been propagated by two social giants of my lifetime: Jay-Z and Hugh Hefner. I think they know what they’re doing. To quoth the Jigga Man:
“I got a main chick, a mistress/and a young bitch, forget it/I’m the don”
Undoubtedly, Hef was bumping “Snoopy Track” in the Phantom one night, and decided: “You know what, I’m tired of aimlessly banging all these playmates. I’m following Hov.” And Holly (main chick), Bridget (mistress), and Kendra (young chick) became the Girls Next Door. Also, 3WF took a step from Black Pimpin’ to White Pimpin’, bringing it a step closer to mainstream acceptance as the optimal relationship model. Let’s explore what traits each female brings to the table:
- The Main Chick – Independent, Intelligent, Confident, Beautiful. This is the woman you rely on day in and day out. The mother of your children.
- The Mistress – Dependent, Anxiety Issues, Unbelievable in Bed, Hot. This is the woman who builds up your ego. Hopefully not the mother of one of your mistakes.
- The Young Chick – Piping Hot, Smoking Hot, Arm Candy, Piping Hot. This girl will keep your sex drive in this group of 3. You won’t cheat with a girl worse looking than one you already have in your stable. You know, assuming she’s always nearby.
This would be the perfect trio for the yacht. In an optimal ‘real life’ application of this incredible relationship strategy, you would
- Keep the Main Chick forever
- Get a new Mistress every 2 years
- Get a new Young Chick every year.
If I had this setup, I would be completely happy, and the relationship would be as perfect as possible. And if you think this would suck for the Mistress and the Young Chick, you’re wrong. They’re Main Chicks in training like every other single woman on this planet. Only they get a learning experience that amounts to an Apprenticeship. Everybody wins.
Unfortunately, this model hasn’t been accepted by society yet. Which is a shame. So, in order to avoid a cop-out on this topic, I need to say that the ‘Perfect Woman’ would combine all of the traits above. She’d have ageless beauty and the essence of youth. Lady in the street, freak in the sheets, blah, blah, blah.
You know what? The perfect woman would be the Main Chick I described, and she’d be able to deal with the Mistress and Young Chick infidelities. She’d Vanessa-Bryant-up and get over it when a bigger rock found it’s way to her left hand.
But most importantly, the Perfect Woman would be the most feminine woman. In fact, if they had a Worldwide Femininity Contest, and they judged things like: throwing like a girl, emotional response to ‘the Notebook’, and caring for sick babies, I bet the winner of that contest would be more attractive to me than the Miss Universe winner.
Even more important would be how to treat this woman, which deserves space in it’s own right. ‘How to Treat the Perfect Woman’. That’s definitely not as straightforward of a topic as it might seem to some of you.