Dating Nerds 2.0: Hanging On

So let’s say you’ve conquered Dating Nerds 0.1 and Dating Nerds 1.0 and you’ve cornered an acceptable nerd into a relationship. First off, congratulations. Second off, how do you hang on to him without sacrificing any of your dignity? I mean, let’s be honest here: your new nerd squeeze isn’t exactly the social draw you’d expect from a new boyfriend.

The key here is that this new nerd squeeze is completely customizable. You have to tell him what to say, when to say it, and where to touch you. Oh shit, this is starting to feel like a Sex and the City episode. But whatever, fuck it. It’s probably the truth. The nerds I know are the only males willing to have their whole life changed at a woman’s will.

The final question is: are women really more likely to want to mold a nerd man into being the man they want him to be? Or would they rather latch on to a player who will leave them at a moment’s notice but who they may be able to ‘change’? If I’ve ever learned anything from girls, I’ve learned that they go for players regardless of what they do/say/think/masturbate about.

I’m pretty sure the reason for this is that girls fundamentally don’t trust the opposite sex. They’re skeptical. And I think this is with good reason, don’t get me wrong. But a guy who thinks that being a player will make girls trust him less? They’re just flat out wrong. Check it out man: girls will never trust you, you might as well play it like the cards are dealt to you.

But wait a minute, this post was supposed to be dedicated to the girls hanging on to Nerds they already picked up. Ok, here’s what you do:

  1. Modify what he says in public, especially around your friends (you don’t need him embarrassing you)
  2. Pretend like you’re interested in his nerd activities (this isn’t tough, he’ll be easily fooled)
  3. Gradually (GRADUALLY) modify his wardrobe to be more fashionable
  4. Make sex the #1 thing on his mind (or at least as high on his list as you can make it)
  5. Get emotional with him earlier than normal (Nerds are suckers for chick-emotions)
  6. Talk about his “traumatic” past (this will make him more committed to you)
  7. Be absolutely relentless with sticking with him if he tries to break up with you. Remember, nerds have little to no confidence with women. Even though you are scoring big time, and you have the upper hand, he doesn’t know that.

Always remember, he thinks he needs you more than you need him. This isn’t true, but he doesn’t know that.



Filed under dating, Science

14 responses to “Dating Nerds 2.0: Hanging On

  1. Hope

    This one hit it totally out of the ball park in accuracy. I am impressed.

    Make sex the #1 thing on his mind (or at least as high on his list as you can make it)

    Best advice ever. A girl’s biggest source of power is sex, and she can twirl a nerdy around her fingers if she uses it. She doesn’t even need to use it overtly. Merely looking sexy and making commands with a suggestive little smile will make him drool and want to do anything for her, including laundry, dishes, dressing up nicely, etc., etc. Do watch out for the nerds who love their hobbies more than sex (they tend to masturbate a lot to compensate for the lack of sex).

    I mean, let’s be honest here: your new nerd squeeze isn’t exactly the social draw you’d expect from a new boyfriend.

    Indeed. Dating nerds does nothing to raise the girl’s mating value (to be sure, a single and available girl’s mating value is always higher). Intriguingly, as soon as a girl lands a nerd boyfriend and starts to be seen with him in public, a lot of women will start checking him out. They will be curious what he has that enables him to have a girl on his arms.

    This will give a huge ego boost for the nerd, making him more confident and therefore even more attractive to other women. A nerd-dater will have to watch out for this, because some nerds will not be 100% faithful if he does love her. It would be insidious to suggest that the girl starts dropping hints that the guy is not good enough for her, but if she wants to keep him, then…

    I’m pretty sure the reason for this is that girls fundamentally don’t trust the opposite sex.

    Girls don’t completely trust anybody. The reason is that girls can be very catty, competitive and manipulative. Speaking from experience, nerds are actually far more loyal and trustworthy than most normal females of our species, though there are some guys masquerading as wholesome nerds who actually have sociopathic tendencies.

  2. Me

    Hero. I can’t help but shake the feeling that this class isn’t for us young 20somethings. We (I) are (am) waay too shallow and selfish to be; seen with a nerd in public, to have sex with a mushy glow-in-the-dark guy, to cringe thinking about what he’ll say next, and to worry about his feelings all the time. My question is if you think social maturity has a big part in this undertaking? I tried doing this (god help me) and it was rough…like really rough. I just feel like I should save the knowledge that I’ve acquired in this course for when I am a little bit uglier, fatter, and older.

  3. Hope

    I can’t help but shake the feeling that this class isn’t for us young 20somethings.

    I’m a relatively young and attractive 20something, but have courted nerds all my life. I think it’s a matter of environment, since nerds (intelligent people in general) were venerated where I grew up. You probably weren’t ostracized by your peers when you were younger like I was either.

    You might think that this course is strictly for older women, but it’s not true. By the time you’re old enough to “settle down” most decent men will be taken. The longer you wait, the worse your chances will be in the sexual market. Right now you are in your prime so you don’t feel the sting, but those nerds are appreciating in value with their intelligence, loyalty and other such great husbandly attributes, while you are rapidly depreciating.

    It takes years of courtship to have a successful marriage, if you’re a woman who plans to get married and have children (which I assume most women are). I was 18 when I moved in with my 24 year old nerdy boyfriend who is now my husband. If you are a smart woman, you must start young and catch a nerd young. The older they get, the less likely you will be able to mold him to something of your liking. The older you get, the less likely you will be able to get a good husband to begin with.

    Carpe diem.

  4. Me

    Touche Hope. I’m not getting any younger. Thanks… and here I was thinking I got enough of that from my grandmother. My main problem with all of this is the spark. Any man who’s ever held my interest for more than one date has done so because of a degree of sexual chemistry that I don’t believe can be fabricated because he contains a degree of practicality that your nerds possess. Of course I want to get married and have children one day but do I want it to be with a man who doesn’t give me butterflies? Absolutely not.

  5. Love all the nerd posts! I really didn’t know this class of dating material existed. I majored in engineering, so I have had plenty of nerd interaction. Honestly, though, I have never thought of them as anything more than awesome lab partners. However, I’m slightly confused on how you distinguish a nice nerd from the general population of nerds that make up DC. If you want to check out my blog…, I wrote several questions about this topic and could totally use your guidance. Thanks!

  6. Hope

    Of course I want to get married and have children one day but do I want it to be with a man who doesn’t give me butterflies?

    Fact: No man will give you butterflies after you’ve slept with him for 10 years, unless you’re really kinky and he knows how to tap that kink. You can still have great sexual chemistry together, have amazing sex, etc. but those butterflies are pretty much hallmarks of a new relationship and will not carry you for the long haul.

    I’m not saying you should marry someone you aren’t attracted to or love, because despite my practical streak I am actually a big romantic. Though, to dismiss all nerdy men as being the “same” and incapable of giving you butterflies is essentially limiting the pool from which you wish to find your catch.

    I am also not saying that all women should go after nerds. Statistically speaking, most women tend to marry men from their own race, religion, socioeconomic background, and who share many characteristics in common with themselves. So if you have nothing in common with nerds, don’t bother with them. If you have some passing interest in the same things that nerds do and have other things in common, then it may work out.

  7. after reading these few posts on nerds, i’m wondering if i am one of them

  8. you are a nerd ava. You all are. Lambda Lambda Lambda.

    Meanwhile I’m in Alpha Beta and can throw a regulation javelin really fare and would willingly make out with hundreds of girls to raise money for a charity contest.

  9. Jo

    Nerds are so much better in bed too — much more attentive. But I disagree with the taking them out in public part, if your friends are snobs yeah you might have an issue, but if your friends are cool and welcoming they won’t mind if he slips up and makes a Star Trek joke. They might bust his balls a bit, but hey that’s part of it.

  10. letsdate2008

    Thanks for the guide! I am actively trying to date a nerd (as outlined here: and really needed the advice. After reading though, I’m pretty sure I qualify as a nerdette, but that’s endearing, right?

  11. dyank

    i was rather amazed on how well you hit this article on the head of the nail here…good job 🙂

  12. bellona

    if you are seriously worried about the social problems of dating a nerd then you don’t deserve one. and not all nerds are socially inept or glow-in-the-dark or ugly, stop thinking generically. almost any guy who hasn’t dated by the age of 17 is atleast part nerd even if he seems normal, start with one of those and work your way up to full nerds, or as far as you need to go to be happy

  13. bellona

    oh and one more thing, nerds research, anything that they are unsure of or think they can improve on they’ll look up on line, i think my nerd must do this because he’s very good at everything he does. (i’m talking sex here for those who didn’t catch that)

  14. i found this very thought prvoking, I need o come back soon , well done

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