The Comfort Zone

smiley ball

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

– Albert Einstein

The greatest mistake you can make is not making any. Stop being such a pussy.

– DC Hero

I swear it’s like every day I hear about somebody who is afraid to go out on a limb and make a mistake. It’s this ‘What-if’ game people play to talk themselves out of doing things. “What if I get fired?”, “What if I move there and I don’t make any friends?”, “What if I break up with him and I don’t find someone as good as him?”, “What if these warts never go away?”. It’s a scientific fact that 90% of all fears are fears of failure. It’s ridiculous, it needs to stop already, and it’s ruining this country.

I’ve come up with this logic: being afraid of failure will put you in the Comfort Zone. The Comfort Zone is defined as an eternal state of pussification that is categorized by a continuous cycle of anxiousness, false-security, and self-doubt. The Comfort Zone is most readily observed in guys in long term relationships under the age of 25 who run to their girlfriends to make things better the same way a 3 year old runs to mommy to make things better. I know this because I’ve been there.

You might be thinking: ‘Yo, whatever dude. I like the comfort zone. Take this shit somewhere else’. But friend, what will happen when your comfort zone collapses? When you lose your job? When you get dumped? When someone close to you passes away? When the Patriots lose the Super Bowl? Notice I didn’t play the ‘what-if’ game here. These things will happen, and the Comfort Zone is the worst way to prepare for any of them.

I saw this article today talking about an unexplained 20% rise in suicides for middle aged people (age 45-54). I have a feeling that a sudden fear of the Comfort Zone is related to a mid-life crisis. I have a related feeling that since people are becoming more entrenched in the Comfort Zone, they are increasingly seeing suicide as the only solution to this mid-life crisis.

If this is true, we need to stand up and do something about this. I see failing miserably as the only cure for being in the Comfort Zone. Overcoming fear of failure by failing. I like it. Since most people won’t fail if given the choice, we’ll have to take the choice away from them and impose failure on them instead. I propose that March 1st becomes National Fail Day. Everyone should take their time to set up a close friend or confidant for failure on this day. This is similar to April Fool’s Day (the best holiday ever), but on a larger scale. A good example of a National Fail Day prank would be to have someone who the target doesn’t know call the target and “fire” them due to knowledge that you would know that would get them fired. Make sure the person who is calling identifies themselves as a lawyer or somebody from “corporate headquarters” because their boss did not want to make the call given the circumstances.

Other examples of National Fail Day pranks include fake breakups and any other fake but emotional news. Remember, it can be negative OR positive news. Just remember to reveal it’s fakeness at the optimal time. I can’t wait for this fantastic new holiday.



Filed under dating, Life

12 responses to “The Comfort Zone

  1. Failure is becoming all to personal right now….but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Growth does not come through being a mutherfuckin bitch…it comes through getting knocked down to the canvas.

    Maybe 1 percent of the population knows what it is to take a chance.

    More pussy for me and the Hero.

  2. this morning on the today show, i saw a story on mid-life suicides. they said men are more likely to do kill themselves, because “they don’t ask for help.”

  3. Ava, women need to ask for help. Men need to know how to fail spectacularly.

  4. T

    I agree about the failure thing. I’ve even made a failure-related goal for myself. I want to do a stand-up comedy routine by this time next year. I plan to do whatever it takes to have a stand-up comedy set and perform it at an open mic or something next year. I already started reading up on it and have been watching stand up intently these days. Not because I want to actually be a comic but because I want to risk and survive the most intimidating, crushing failure I can imagine (outside of sexual impotence of course, the one failure everyone can agree does no one any good).

    Surviving failure is a great character builder I think. Good post, hero.

  5. i’m just saying what the story said, i didn’t say i agree with it

  6. T, tracking your road to comic failure on the rawness would be most entertaining if you felt so inclined. At that point, you wouldn’t just be surviving failure, you’d be publicizing it. Clearly a step up.

  7. T.

    DCHero, that’s a pretty good idea. Plus it’d be forcing myself to commit to it and not back out if I publicly put my plan out there like that beforehand.

  8. Greg

    Stop putting salt in the Patriots wound, it hasn’t healed yet…

    Anyway, the rant sounds like Nietzsche. One of his points was that in order to truly live, one must have complete failure in some fashion, and that life is about how one responds to this failure. I tend to think this is just a pragmatic response to people who suck at life.

    But, it makes sense that failure should be a goal. I mean, most people learn by trial and error, myself included.

    In a more idealogical and slightly harsher thought, I think the comfort zone would be more applicable to liberal arts majors, your thoughts?

  9. Nietzsche had such an archaic ideal of culture that I find many of his views irrelevant in modern society. I don’t recall this point of complete failure, but I do agree with it to a point. My point wasn’t that life is about how you respond to failure, but instead that failure is inevitable. You might as well start learning about it on your own terms.

    I can’t say the CZ applies more to liberal arts majors. I know too many engineers who are afraid to take chances in their social lives. This puts them in the social comfort zone.

  10. i read a realllllly good…as in life changing… article years Fortune magazine about failure and how it can be an asset ..because people who have experienced it… are not as afraid of it… and how to learn from it… i kept it for years…
    i think i’ve finally misplaced it….
    but ive never forgotten it…

  11. Frankie

    Is this news? Have you just discovered the meaning of life, or what? These are things I have been aware of since I was a clumsy toddler.

    I “suck at life”, constantly making a complete fool of myself. I have few fixed opinions (except those about men), I am not at all politically correct, have no tact, I think much too much of myself, am never right, though (no matter what others think) and I am heading nowhere. My vices are as plenty as my virtues.

    I am a walking failure. A mistake. A happy dropout that never stops learning. They should lock people like me up because if everybody was like me there would be no civilisation.

    And then again.. what I am writing here might just as well be a mistake, a lie, a pleasant illusion.

    So, that constant genuine smile on my face is there for no good reason. Which, by the way, is the only good reason. And the irritation this causes with some people makes me feel even better.

  12. ro42g

    Winning all the time would be great, but the biggest wins are from people who used to be failures. Those wins are more important in my opinion.

    There is no such thing as failure though. When you try something and it doesn’t work, that means that you made a discovery.

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