99% of Relationship Problems are the Man’s Fault

I am completely sick of hearing guys I know bitch about problems with their relationships. She’s flirting with other guys, she talks about her ex, she has psychological problems, I don’t trust her, our sex frequency/satisfaction/variety isn’t good, we have too many arguments, money troubles (this might be an exception to what I’m suggesting, I have to think about it), we never do what I want to do, she won’t let me (fill in the blank), she cheated on me … I mean, fuck. Look in the mirror when you say these things so you can realize how much of a bitch you sound like. To solve all of your relationship problems, there’s one magical thing you can do: Be a man.

If you don’t know how to be a man, you have to at least fool her by acting like a man. Watch a movie with an alpha-male role (Denzel Washington in American Gangster is a movie you should watch anyway) and try to act as much like that character as possible. Talk slowly and in as deep of a voice as you can muster, and don’t be afraid to appear to be on the threshold of a violent outburst. Put that woman in her place, she’s begging you to do it by causing outrageous drama that keeps you away from your important obligations.

Remember, her world revolves around you. She talks about you, thinks about you, and fantasizes about you. Ignoring her when she does something unacceptable (like if she flirts on the phone with her ex in your presence, this happened to a guy I know) will be quickly understood by the girl because women are such subtle, fragile, attention-hungry creatures (no woman hate intended). She should have to do something to earn your valuable attention. By ‘something’, I mean ‘a lot of things’.

But yeah, I’m not a girl-power advocate or anything, but I do agree that pretty much every relationship issue (from either the man’s or woman’s side) can be solved by the man being a man instead of being a needy desperate bitch. I know this isn’t exactly a scientific breakthrough or anything, but I’ve been hearing a lot of whining and bitching lately. And if you think can’t solve the relationship problems by being a man, then you’re wrong because you need to be a man and leave that bitch where you found her: in a high school parking lot right outside of Bethesda.

“She cheated on me, but we’re working through that.” I mean, buddy, if that’s your reaction then you shouldn’t wonder why she cheated on you. Bottom line: Be a man.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “99% of Relationship Problems are the Man’s Fault

  1. Hope

    While I appreciate your rejection of the “blame the woman” approach, I do believe that women today are much bitchier to men than they used to be (women have always been bitches to other women). Most women nowadays believe that they deserve tons of gifts, perfect relationships and absolute emotional intimacy without having to put in any of the work.

    We, as women, are ultimately responsible for our own actions. But it’s hard to make women see it, because the culture has shifted. Women demand so much from their men, have this idealized, romanticized notion of relationships. We won’t compromise, won’t become unselfish, and we in short have become self-entitled queens.

    I suspect all these relationships with the so-called “alpha” guy happen when the guy doesn’t actually love the girl, and the so-called “beta” guy happen when the girl doesn’t actually love the guy. When two people truly love each other, they are both “beta” and “alpha” at the same time. The woman will try to please her man, and the man will try to please the woman. When both people are givers, it’s a beautiful thing.

    Lasting relationships should be based on genuine behavior, not affectations that people put up for the world, and not acting a certain way to always get what you want.

  2. I see your point on the ‘everybody puts in half the work’ thing, and I’ve heard this a few times. I don’t disagree wih that, but I do think the man is the dominant force in the relationship, and that fact presents itself most clearly when shit hits the fan. When everything is all peachy, the 50/50 thing works. But when there’s some real shit going down, the man’s gotta take over.

  3. russkie

    more or less mirrors my thoughts on the topic. though you had to admit, there are some successful relationships that switch the roles-i don’t fucking support them, but hey whatever works. thoughts?

  4. if a woman takes the head/man role, i don’t think you can call that a successful relationship. for either party.

  5. Deborah

    This happened to me, I was the terrible bitch in the relationship. Since the very beginning of our relationship he was such a little bitch, and I see it now but back then I didn’t really realize it. I wandered off thinking about other guys sometimes, texted other guys, flirted, etc. He just cried and cried; I feel awful about it now and never really did understand my behavior. It’s the same thing with guys though, when a girl is needy, emotional, they back off and start cheating or flirting with other girls. I suppose because it’s boring when the other person gets so emotionally draining?

  6. Zarthus Maximus

    Bottom line be a Man? You got to being freaking joking. You obviously have no clue what it is to be a man. What did you do, google “how to be a man” and then write this? A man can express his emotions and still be a man. A man can complain and vent about relationship issues and still be a man. We are men not vulcans with no emotion. Controlling the emotion and being able to work through problems and being mature about the situation, making a decision that you feel is right and sticking to it, … that is a man. Your convoluted ranting about your friends venting to you about their women just shows how manly you are. You can’t even handle the emotions that your friends are expressing to you. As a man you should make the decision to help not scold. To love them and not lecture unnecessarily.

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