Hero Adage #2: Most people aren’t worth talking to more than 5 times in a lifetime. The vast majority of people I meet don’t have more than a handful of worthwhile conversations in them. After I get these conversations out of them I choose to never talk to them again because I know it will just be a rehash of previous conversations and largely a waste of time.
It’s true that everyone has something to offer you. However, a very small number of this ‘everyone’ population can bring any heat consistently. Because of this, people are more or less replaceable. After all, I’ve proven to myself that I can get tidbits of wisdom from almost anyone. It should go without saying that the validity of this statement is directly proportional to the simdemographic (made up word alert) local population density. Because of this, I think it’s best to think of people in one of two ways:
There is no grey area.
This is the perfect lead-in to what will one day be the best series of posts ever on DC Hero: Moving To A New Place. Phase I of moving to a new place is simple: don’t make friends with just anyone, be very picky even if you feel desperate for friends. You don’t need any more Replaceables in your life. Ever.
I heard this mantra when I was watching a video of the Baja 1000 with my homies (we’re that cool) from the crew of this guy who was trying to motorcycle the whole thing without stopping. He was rushing during a pit stop to change his gear, eat something, drink water, and take a dump… you know, all the things you need to do when you’re racing a motorcycle 1000 miles non-stop through Baja California. At this moment, with a mouth full of Jax, I had an epiphany.
I’m late to everything because I’m always busy either looking at pictures on icanhascheezburger.com, perusing the newest videos on collegehumor.com, or watching beast tube (for educational purposes only) when I should be ‘getting ready’ (fixing my hair to get the perfect bed-head look, blasting a Third Eye Blind song, making awesome breakfast, etc.) to go somewhere. This means I put myself in a position where I need to do 20 things in the least amount of time possible to minimize my lateness.
Just like for our friend in the Baja 1000, the mantra holds: “Slower is Faster”. Panicking, quick movements, and other means of rushing will be counter-productive here. Think with a clear mind, make no unnecessary moves, and slow down to get to the goal fastest.
I made this point because it carries over as a metaphor to Hero Adage #8: A slow conversation (words coming out slow, pauses in between people talking) is a good conversation. A fast conversation (frequent interruptions of each other, participants too busy thinking about what they’re going to say next instead of listening to the other person and pausing to think about it) are awful conversations. And they’re painful to be in. I’m talking to you, girl-I-met-on-the-metro-last-night.
I’d say slower conversations prove that slower is faster. Even though the conversation is slow, it gets you to the goal of the conversation (to form an understanding between two people, to build a rapport, to come to agreement on the cost and means of delivery of drugs and sexual services, etc.) a lot faster than a fast conversation does. I also made this graph to illustrate how talking a lot of nonsense is counter-productive: