With election season at hand and both sides telling us how bad America is, it’s time to look at something America kicks the rest of the world’s ass at: interracial dating. Of course, mixed-race superiority (Tiger Woods, Barack Obama, and half-Asian girls worldwide) is becoming more and more apparent and, unsurprisingly, interracial marriages are becoming more and more common (~5% of American marriages in the 2000 Census). Eventually, these two factors will lead to a worldwide mixing of races that will make the lines between them greyer and greyer until they are all more or less indistinguishable from one other. We can only stab a guess as to when this will happen. What we can do is celebrate the classic interracial couple parings that will sadly fade over the coming Millenia. I will rank the top 5 pairings in an order I will reveal at the end:
5. Black man and slightly overweight White woman
This is probably the stereotype of stereotypes for interracial dating. I predict that America’s obesity epidemic will peak at the same exact moment Mulatto conception peaks. After that peak, this pairing will disappear into the yearbooks of yesteryear.
4. Nerdish White man and slightly flat chested Asian woman
The portrayal of girls in Anime comics/movies/video-games sinlessly describes the perfect woman for this growing segment of men. A combination of not speaking English, looking 14 years old, and being the most unintimidating human beings in the world provide the perfect aphrodisiac for nerds. I keep staring at this picture because it’s so damn perfect. Her Asian excitement is tempered by his somewhat creepy and Nerdy relief, which is combined with just the right amount of clinginess. Truly a match made in heaven.
3. Demanding Arab man and submissive White woman
A relative newcomer to the party, this fast-growing phenomenon is growing as some women realize that they don’t want to be the head of the household and, instead, would like to be dominated. I wouldn’t have taken this seriously if I didn’t read about it in a dating forum (I can’t find the link!) and hear about it colloquially. Keep an eye on this one.
2. Redhead man/woman and Nobody
Contrary to urban legend, red hair isn’t going to be vanished from humanity any time soon. Those recessive genes have the awful habit of hiding themselves in people. But we can all agree, if you have red heads at the top of your list, you’re truly a sick fuck.
1. Cougars and young Latino men
I think the whole “pool boy banging the right housewife” stereotype is just a rationalization of Cougar-lust for the relentless Latino Heat. And let’s be honest here, the whole ‘Eva Longoria banging the gardener to cheat on her Latino husband’ plot on Desperate Housewives was nothing more than a clever way to reshape the reality of the legend. It’s obvious that Eva should be a wealthy, retired White model banging her Latino gardener. If girls out there already knew this, please let me know.
Oh, and the order from 1-5 goes: 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. Thanks for playing.
15 Comments
August 26, 2008 at 10:42 am
Black man and slightly overweight White woman
Hey, the chubby (or fat) white girl in that photo is downright attractive. With some acrylic nails, she’d be perfect for me!
August 26, 2008 at 11:08 am
i already knew that about rich white cougars and latinos, i think that deserves a CP
August 26, 2008 at 2:38 pm
haha. hilarious
I’m assuming you modeled number 4 on you(when wearing your glasses) and all of the Asian girls you tend to attract?
August 26, 2008 at 10:12 pm
classic post
August 27, 2008 at 7:23 am
On the Asian woman/nerdy white guy match — there is an exception. I’m a nerdy white guy, married to a Korean woman — and she is anything but unintimidating. Have you ever dealt with a Korean customer? Scary.
August 27, 2008 at 7:53 am
Skip, I can definitely see that. I’m starting to feel like all Asian women are a little more focused and calculating than the average woman, and that the ‘unintimidating girl’ thing is just a front.
On a completely separate note, I think the girl in the picture is Korean. On a note related to that one, I’d highly recommend you take the “faces” test at alllooksame.com to see how well you can differentiate Asians.
August 27, 2008 at 7:49 pm
[...] With election season at hand and both sides telling us how bad America is, it’s time to look at something America kicks the rest of the world’s ass at: interracial dating. Of course, mixed-race superiority (Tiger Woods, Barack Obama, and half-Asian girls worldwide) is becoming more and more apparent … Source: The Best Interracial Couples [...]
September 4, 2008 at 4:21 pm
lol. another new addition is the moderately/successful indian male and bitchy/demanding woman who now frequent the triangle area of NC.
September 17, 2008 at 3:25 pm
“to see how well you can differentiate Asians.”
True story, the other day an Asian girl came up to me and asked me my nationality.
If I’m Asian and can’t differentiate Asians, and other Asians can’t differentiate Asians either, why are white guys even bothering?
February 2, 2009 at 9:58 pm
stop being racist its mean
February 2, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Don’t be racist. Do you think it’s right to make fun of people’s color of skin? We are all equal. And the Asian thing was just plain mean.
June 30, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Just discovering this great blog now–can’t help but comment on some old-ass posts. LOL at the soft-headed “don’t be racist it’s mean” comments. Is it mean if it’s true?
August 18, 2009 at 12:30 am
your a steriotypical asshole! go to hell
September 10, 2009 at 4:16 pm
How about some good old chubby white chicks on half-white half-filipino dudes?
Sorry, my personal preference as it would describe my current relationship. I think it’s fucking hot.
Mmmhm. Anyway, more for the topic at hand. I didn’t know what to expect from this. Originally I was thinking in my head, “Oh great, let’s blog about silly racism jokes.” before I clicked the link. But this is pure genius. Kudos out the wazoo.
November 1, 2009 at 11:13 pm
You are all dilusional. Deport the wetbacks. Don’t hire them to cut your lawn or for anything else. They’re like stray dogs. Pay them once and you can’t get rid of them and… they reproduce like roaches. Next thing you know, you were trying to save a buck and now you have created an infestation.