March 17, 2008...11:02 pm
Dating Nerds 0.1: A Primer
Lately, I’ve been thinking about dating solutions for girls. After gathering a wide range of opinions, I’ve concluded two things:
- Girls have high expectations and no patience
- Feminine dating problems boil down to there not being enough “good men”
I started thinking about the second problem, and then I started thinking about how I disagree with it. And then it hit me. I know an inordinate number of nerds. And, aside from our 400 year supply of coal that we can hold the world hostage with after other energy sources run out, nerds are our most important natural resource. They are by far the most overlooked group of men. Let’s look at their pluses and minuses. As always, let’s make lists:
Nerds: Positives
- Treat women like gold
- Make a lot of money
- Very dependable
- Honest and nice
- Wholesome
Nerds: Negatives
- Treat women like gold
- Scrawny or fat
- Awkward in intimacy
- Emotionally distant
- Defensive and fragile
Wait a minute, this doesn’t look so good now. The positives look like the list of things women say they want, which they probably do. But due to their naturally high expectations, they aren’t willing to sacrifice and take the stuff on the negatives list for the pluses on the positive list. If this is true, which we can assume by looking at the lack of nerd mating success, a guy who: treats women like dirt, makes no money, is an irresponsible dirty liar, but has a great body, doesn’t get emotional or defensive, knows how to touch women and connects to them emotionally would have much more success. Uh oh, that sounds all too true.
This is pretty interesting. This scientific list shows how emotional strength and raw sexuality decidedly trump everything else on the list. I’m very disappointed with this, I really felt like I was onto something with the nerds. Girls will often say that they like the idea of nerdy guys because of the things on the positive list, but they can’t settle and take the negatives because of their greedy, self-serving, way too pretty nature.
But if you are willing to take the negatives with the positives, ladies, stay tuned for Dating Nerds 1.0: Meeting Nerds. This is the most important part of dating nerds because once you get one, he’s not going to go anywhere. This is going to be great.
Homework: read Slashdot (aka intro to Nerd World).
Note: The nerd at the top is Sergey Brin. *sigh*, you don’t know who Sergey Brin is? He co-founded Google, you might of heard of it. Anyway, he married nerd-miner Anne Wojcicki last May. No, this was not big news in the nerd community.
19 Comments
March 18, 2008 at 12:16 am
on occasion i date nerds…there is a good and bad list with alllllll boys (chicks too for that matter)…but what i realllly wanna know…
how is will doing on his asian free 2008??
xoxo
March 18, 2008 at 7:57 am
This is why I never wash my balls…..
Girls love dirty boys… true story
March 18, 2008 at 12:11 pm
It’s no fun dating a man who cannot participate in sexual intercourse due to his chronic case of premature ejaculation. This is the number one negative of dating a nerd. The number two negative is he never goes anywhere, literally. These are the men that you have to kick out of your house because they want to be with you all the time. I’m much more content chasing around a hot man and convincing why he should not cheat on me.
March 18, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Awkward in intimacy
Emotionally distant
Defensive and fragile
These aren’t true. I exclusively dated nerds, and they are a group that is often very in touch with their emotions, super romantic, loving and sweet. Because they don’t have to worry about what society thinks of them, they can break away from that traditional macho crap that makes men so hard to deal with, and it makes them a lot less defensive with women (though they tend to be defensive around men).
These are the men that you have to kick out of your house because they want to be with you all the time.
Nerds are perfect for me because I have to be kicked out of the house otherwise I’m perfectly content staying in. We also have the same interests in video games and nerdy stuff like anime, computers, reading, D&D, etc. I also don’t care if people think I’m a nerdy girl, or if people think those guys are nerds, because to me nerds are way cooler than goths or club/bar hoppers or sports maniacs.
Anyway it sounds to me like some you don’t know what nerdy guys are really like, because you don’t date them or keep them as friends? I love nerds… they have the sense of humor I can dig. Also some of them are very alpha and confident around other men but perfect gentlemen around women. Nerds are awesome. More dim women don’t know what they’re missing out on.
March 18, 2008 at 12:55 pm
i tried dating a real nerd’s nerd one time (set up by a friend), i just wasn’t into the same things he was. so we had no connection. however, i’m willing to give it another go around after reading the list of positives.
March 18, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I love how my grammar goes to complete shit in these comments. Oh well.
One more thing, premature ejaculation is not a nerd thing… it’s a person-by-person thing. There are nerds that go on for freaking hours (which gets annoying), and there are nerds (most likely virgins) that blow in a second. A few bad experiences shouldn’t discourage you from trying out more nerds.
March 18, 2008 at 1:31 pm
[...] In my experience I’ve dated guys like all of ones listed above. I’m glad I got a wide variety in the mix, but other than that they just make good memories. I guess the point of this post is to say you’ll only know what you want by finding out what you don’t. So get out there and date guys you wouldn’t ordinarily and for me that could mean dating “nerds.” [...]
March 18, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Hope, I set out to say how great it would be for a girl to date nerds but I ran into my negatives list, 3 points of which you’ve taken issue with. I mean, you have to admit nerds have some kind of downside. They’re not awkward in intimacy? Nerd girls are usually awkward in intimacy, I’d imagine nerd boys are usually just as if not more awkward, but I guess I can’t be sure. Also, I know some pretty hardcore nerds who either are not in touch at all with their emotions, or they’re into anime, or being a furry, or just live life online.
And as for being defensive, maybe you haven’t witnessed a nerd argument over the “best” of something. It doesn’t really matter what it is: the best scripting language, the best video card, the best microbrewery… They just whine and get defensive, it’s how nerds argue. Here’s a great example I pulled from ArsGeek where nerds were arguing whether or not SabayonLinux blows away Ubuntu:
SabayonLinux does NOT blow Ubuntu (or any other distro) away. I tried it for a while, and it is too top-heavy. Also, I was getting video problems when running beryl. I don’t know if that’s a common problem or something fixed, but…it happened no matter the video player whenever I had beryl settings enabled. And it’s definitely not my computer:
AMD 64 3000+
2gig dual-channel pc3200
600+watt battery
~200GB IDE WD HD
6800 GT-OC (BFG style)
but if you don’t play videos on your Linux distro you might be ok. Also if you don’t mind the extra unnecessary programs, etc.
Favorite line: “it’s definitely not my computer”
March 18, 2008 at 3:25 pm
im wondering if my crush on kevin mitnick counts… i mean he is a nerd and a felon..so that makes him a bad boy..right??
xoxo
March 18, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Nerds can be awkward in intimacy, but again it depends on the person. I’ve been with some IT nerd types that were amazing in bed. A lot of nerds are introverted, but there’s nothing really wrong with it. They can be socially well-adjusted. Plenty of “normal” guys have various quirks that are hard to put up with, like they could be way into anal, are compulsive cheaters, or completely refuse to go down on a girl (all are examples extracted from “game” playing bloggers).
The best way to dismantle a nerd’s “best of” argument is through proof and soft suggestion, not directly insulting his favorite toy. Humor also works well. Also, the example you posted is no different in its essence from a guy talking about his favorite sports team. Guys are just hard-headed when it comes to talking with other guys. When I talk to them about my favorite web language or video card there is usually no issue. Even if they tell me they prefer something else, they respect a girl’s view on subject matters as long as she’s not out to control their opinions.
I spent practically my whole life starting from age of 12 on around nerdy guys, so I’ve seen all kinds of things that they’ve done. Yes, there are plenty of nerds who are even bigger misogynists than the ball-busting alphas, and plenty of them that are really stubborn, hard-headed and downright nasty to anyone who disagrees. But I don’t think those are the “honest and nice” or “wholesome” nerds you are talking about?
By the way, I have a nerdy boss who reads a lot, wears glasses, knows several programming languages, plays the guitar, and is a very confident, laid-back and social guy. Most guys couldn’t pull off the kind of charisma he exudes, and a lot of girls at work flirt with him like crazy. Although I suppose people wouldn’t necessarily call him a nerd simply because of appearances — but that’s superficial. Even the physically attractive nerds want more from their mates than surface looks.
March 18, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Yet another list of why geeks are soo much better than nerds. Don’t get me wrong, I could be called a nerd too, but this list is not exactly true for everybody.
March 18, 2008 at 5:46 pm
if you can introduce a nerd to your world and slowly change his bad practices like the way he dresses….what an opportunity.
March 18, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Emotionally distant….I believe it. I am dating a guy I initially thought to be a nerd, but I get the impression that longer I am with him that he is simply a loser in a nerd school…all too common. Now, Geeks…those are sweethearts. Completely oblivious to their silly obsessions with Anime and/or Sci-Fi movies or even technology, but man, can those guys give you a shoulder or warm hug!
March 18, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I think the problem here is that most people don’t know a large set of nerds. They only know the nerds who actually talk to other people, who are like a 4 and below on the Nerd Scale (1-10). I have 2 nerd degrees from 2 nerd schools; I’ve met a lot of nerds and these positives and negatives are correct. Still, I think nerds should be banging more chicks. Dating Nerds 1.0 is coming soon.
March 19, 2008 at 8:34 am
[...] My Hero Dating Nerds 0.1: A Primer [...]
March 21, 2008 at 12:33 am
[...] let’s say you’ve conquered Dating Nerds 0.1 and Dating Nerds 1.0 and you’ve cornered an acceptable nerd into a relationship. First off, [...]
March 22, 2008 at 8:32 am
[...] Let’s say I do manage to weed out a nerd, I am not wholesome. Not in the slightest. Does this prevent me from being a nerd miner? [...]
April 15, 2008 at 3:55 pm
[...] friends and acquaintances. One group you’ve probably over looked through the years are the nerds. For the same reason that you can’t get away from assholes (mental model) they think [...]
May 14, 2008 at 1:55 pm
[...] Awkward in intimacy …. nerds can be awkward in intimacy, but again it depends on the person. …http://dchero.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/dating-nerds-01-a-primer/Dating Nerds 0.1: A Primer ” DC Hero To The Rescue… we can hold the world hostage with after other [...]
Leave a Reply